After the last Keahak channel held on May 23, 2020, I sensed to share how I almost left physical form on accident and share how I returned from realization ‘out there’ to bringing it to here and now, staying in physical form.
As you all know, one can get to the depths of allowing – knowing your realization is not here in the Earth reality play but ‘over there’ in the all that is YOU – and when you hit that deep space, absolutely nothing in your previous human life matters anymore.
Not your partner, not your bank account, not your family or Shaumbra friends, and, in my case, not even my dog.
The ecstasy of the I Am is truly something that cannot compare to what we all believed was love when we were still in the limited human perceptions rather than the sensations of the God, also.
When I attended the Master’s Life 3: Embodied Consciousness recording live, ASG said: “One cannot know love until they know the ecstasy of the I Am.”
I wrote it down in my notes and underlined it.
This is what I came here to experience – not in a mental concept but with deep sensation beyond emotion, beyond story lines.
As I have written before – realization does in fact occur ‘over there’ as ASG said in a Keahak channel about two months ago – yet embodied realization is when you bring ‘over there’ to meet here and now. The endless Now and infinite Here.
Keahak does something truly wonderful for me. It provides a beautiful hindsight master’s view of what occurred for me in years past.
Sometimes and very rarely it reveals something in the present, but ninety percent of the time Keahak allows me to say with great enthusiasm, “Oh that’s what happened (blank) years ago.”
Just like it is for you, the words ASG shares in Keahak are Me talking to Me. How cool is that?
I’ll take you back to September 2017. I was in Kuta, Bali, traveling with my then Shaumbra partner.
One hot night towards the end of our stay in Bali, I had the dream of all dreams I never told him or anyone about the dream – not until a year later or so when I go through and write my story down allowing the words to simmer and bubble up in their divine timing.
Then, I could not speak the words.
In the dream, I am standing in a long dark hallway. The walls of the hallway are like castle walls. Fire-breathing lanterns light the path before me.
Now I know from Keahak – that we can call this the Hallway of Wisdom – the alters (the first part of the Keahak series) lining the halls – way back in 2017.
Time is not linear. It bends and folds upon itself as we do, allowing to points in a linear line to loop and intersect in the beauty that is life with the veils fully lifted to reveal our inimitable grandness.
I was walking the hallways of wisdom alone, and then a large group of people come by.
I stopped the gentleman in front.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“We are going to a costume party of sorts,” he said. “We are all dressed up in our ‘costumes’ from our last life on Earth.”
What he meant is that each person is wearingtheir human identity from the lifetime in which they experienced realization or their last lifetime.
“Do you want to come?” he asked.
“No. I think I’ll stay on my own,” I said.
I felt myself un-group and de-tribe entirely.
I un-grouped from Shaumbra, from the Crimson Council, from my archangel family and from my ancestral all at once in a state of deep, deep allowing.
What was I allowing? Self and self alone.
The huge raucous party procession went by me.
I waved goodbye, and once they passed I felt that ecstasy of the I Am that I had underlined in my journal.
I followed it through the hallways until I came upon a set of stairs that was mine and mine alone.
I started to climb the stairs, but I found I did not need my feet to walk. I floated.
I entered a room with high ceilings. The walls were lined with books that stretched floor to roof. Several windows displayed vast and unearthly landscapes.
I was in the library of my own soul’s wisdom.
I started to feel sleepy, so I lay down on a couch, which instantly manifested as soon as I felt tired.
Just before I lay down, I saw an object on a desk in front of me.
It was like a picture frame but instead of a photo behind the glass it showed the cosmos.
I could compare the object to a glass ant farm, but instead of the ants digging tunnels, it was like looking into the Milky Way from the clear desert sky on a new moon.
The sensation inside of me showed me, “The stars are aligned for your realization, for your Return to Self. It is Now.”
The date is set.
I laid down on the couch, experiencing the deepest state of allowing and relaxing of lifetimes.
The couch was so comfortable, I sank into it.
I began to make a decision in sensation that I would stay here. I would stay here on this couch for eternity. I was so very tired of life. I was so very weepy. I felt very done with the world in this moment. There was nothing left for me on Earth.
This was not because my life felt bad or I was suffering. It was a sensation of completeness – that I had experienced everything the world had to offer.
The ecstasy of the I Am was all I ever wanted to experience and now it was here. Surely, it was okay to curl up on my own cosmic couch and stay never to return to Earth again.
In Keahak terms, I was ‘over there’ in my realization, and I was not going to go back to the ‘here’ of Earth.
I did not realize at the time that something else was brewing inside of me – something we call New Life – Nova Vita – USARA.
Just then an older woman who called herself Hilde burst into the library room I was in.
“This never happens!” she yelled. “You are not supposed to be here!”
She pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and said, “You have to go back. And you have to do it Now. This never happens!”
At first, I thought she was angry. Then, I realized she was panicked. It was fear.
I wasn’t really interested in going back, and then she used shock to pull me from the trance.
“Your mom called. She is dying,” she said. “She needs you.”
She held up the cell phone and waved it in my face.
Earth reality came back and slapped me in the face.
Wake up, get your shit together, my insides sang to me.
“Okay. Okay. I will go back,” I replied.
Hilde walked me to a room and told me to sit down on what looked like a portal to a tube - like a tunneled water slide at a hotel resort.
She told me to sit in the lotus pose and to relax. She was shooting me through a tube back to Earth.
I realize now Hilde was a facet of myself kicking me in the ass to get me back to finish the job of this last life. To kick me into gear for something now available on Earth that was not available before. The nectar of New Life. I could begin to taste it.
Just before she ‘hit the button’ to send me back to the ‘over here’, the man from the party brought me a plate of whipped cream leftover from the party. I smiled.
It was – to this day – the best thing I have ever tasted, more real than any Earth reality.
With a big fat smile on my face, the bottom dropped out from where I floated in the lotus position and my consciousness returned to my energetic form – the body lying in the bed in Kuta, Bali.
Sleeping Lauren felt the jolt of the consciousness returning the energetic form – I was no longer a soul inhabiting a physical body, man what a racket that was – I was simply energy responding to my own inimitable consciousness of being God, also.
Back in human form, I woke up in a pool of my own sweat, heart racing.
I called my mom. She was fine. This was a tactic use to shock me into returning to Earth. It worked.
My then-partner woke up finally woke up and asked what was going on.
“Nothing. I just had a dream,” I responded.
Three months later I crossed the Threshold, which is nothing more than crossing the wall of fire – yet again – and returning to who I am/ was prior to consciousness.
The road after realization – in the last two and a half years – has been winding and sometimes downright painful to the humanity I chose to keep and cherish. I am not going to lie to you.
I made my way to the over there while staying in physical form a year later with my biological body fading into my I Am-ness, becoming one.
As this happened, anything that no longer fit into my new state of being went to the wayside. The partner. The ability to relate to my peers. Friends. Several moves until I found the positioning on Earth in which my light should go.
I realized that my gifts – my true Is-ness and Being-ness here and now embodied – were to sovereignly support lovely beings choosing realization while staying in physical form.
It’s not something my human would have chosen. In fact, it is something I do not take lightly and something I scan for energetic imbalance no less than 5,000 times a day – without thought, just on auto-pilot of being-ness.
It is not something my integrated ego likes to do, it is just who I am.
It took two very long years to reconcile it. It is not a path of parties and community. It’s a responsibility, but I came to understand my service is my sovereignty, and my sovereignty is my freedom. That won’t make sense in the mind. To the mind everything about mastery is a paradox. To an integrated being, paradox is simply is-ness for there’s no separation of duality. It flows, instead, in sparkling neutrality.
There’s magic too. Magic lies in the sparkling neutrality, in the beautiful tension that occurs between human and divine combined as one, a dance between energy and consciousness that were never not one and the same.
My I Am is fully here on Earth embodied. This is the Atlantean Dream and I made it. Tears pour down my face. I made it.
One day there will be more and more of us and what we will co-create will be beyond anything any of us could have ever dreamed until now.
Oh man, I would have been so upset to miss this final experience.
New Life. Once you drop to the zero point – to the bottom of the no self – a New Self Emerges. I will not write too much about it.
Like the dream when it first happened, it is almost to special to me to share it out loud.
But I will share it, and I will stay on Earth for a long while to come.
I still cry every single day. But they are tears of beauty, deep sensuality, and grief that contains no object, which is no longer considered a ‘bad’ thing.
I can’t tell you why it is worth it to stay on Earth, but I can ask:
Don’t you want to find out?
NOTES: The relationship between human perceived conflict and the soul sense of peace; VIDEO: THE CREATIVE SPARK OF NEUTRALITY
In order to surf, there has to be a wave to ride on…
There’s a deeply rooted belief system that everything must be gravy for you to declare your mastery.
What do I mean by that?
Well, I mean that there is belief system that fully integrated beings have no waves in their lives – that everything is pulled together and cool, calm, and collected.
In other words, there’s a belief boulder that everything must be smooth and free of the perception of human conflict – that everything is figured out and in a nice neat order.
For example, you never get a flat tire, you never get worked up or have your feathers ruffled.
That could not be further from the truth of You.
Instead it goes like this:
An integrated being, knows a flat tire is part of the human experience. It relishes in the adventure of Spirit in the full on human experience, without making it a thing.
An integrated being knows that sometimes the way the I Am expresses itself is to say “No More. I am not going to go with the (external) flow on this one.”
Sometimes that is in opposition to the old flow of duality and linearity and especially gravity. That opposition creates waves. Waves are always temporary - in fact, everything is!
Sometimes that’s in opposition (movement without force!) to what we thought we wanted in our old lives in non-dual contrast to what we choose to create in our new lives.
We are not prisoners to previous choices we made before integration.
An integrated being goes with his or her own flow, no one else’s. In fact, there's no way not to once you allow full integration.
When the choice of flow match up with another's - we can share a collective experience for a moment in time.
Inevitably, different but equally valid paths are chosen. This is in a constant state of change.
When you go with your own sovereign flow – true only to the truth at hand, which is a moving experience, subject to change with the ever-new, ever-flowing, non-permanent and non-attached tides of your own inimitable consciousness – it can appear to the human perception that you are not going with the flow of life.
This could not be further from the truth.
Sometimes your own internal flow is not going in the same direction as the perceived outside world, or the world of another you are having an experience with.
You see this in partnerships with other sovereign souls and perhaps in a job or a relationship with a family member or organization.
In this case going with the flow of society, your family or a partner, may keep peace on the surface of the water, and the conflict is then relegated to the depths of the water.
I am not being true to myself in this given moment but my idea of mastery is keeping the perception of peace on the surface of the water.
Let's reconcile this in our minds who are joining us in the integration experience!
Perception of peace is a far-away place from the sensation of peace and flow.
The sensation of peace is being tapped into the flow of the I Am Consciousness.
You flow with the I Am’s passion to express and experience – and the depths of the water become calm and still.
This may make waves on the surface of the water, when the current of your own truth changes directions.
The human perception of making waves is that you are not at peace with yourself.
This could not be further from the deep seated truth of your own soul.
The reality is sometimes to be true to the song of the soul and where it is leading you, you make a conscious shift in direction of the current in the depths of your being-ness.
An integrated being knows that making shifts in the depths, may, for a while, create waves on the surface.
They also know in order to surf from here (old life) to over there (new life) – well, it cannot be done on a calm ocean surface.
There must be a wave to surf, to provide the motion – a flow of conscious awareness from where you’re at in human perception to where you are going meeting your consciousness where it ALREADY lies.
The occurs through the pathways of the sensations of the soul.
A couple examples:
My last partner. I was surfing one day in January 2019. I heard my I Am whisper from the depths, “Lauren, you are going to break up with your partner. It will be easier this way.”
The current shifted in the depths of my oceanic Self.
The human perception of peace and flow would be to ignore this voice and keep the peace with my partner. To work it out, and hash it out. To negotiate.
But I would not be in alignment with my own truth.
So, I followed the current in depths, which made big waves on the surface of the water.
I got on my surfboard and rode the waves into my new life where my partner would not be going.
What it looked like from a human perception: Mess.
What it looked like from an integrated being’s SENSE: Creation.
This morning I woke up with Koot Hoomi by my side.
“What are we doing today, KH?” I asked.
“We are going to reach back and access a few more senses but more so we are going to access a deeper understanding of the creative nature of what human conflict truly is?”
So I got on my imaginary surfboard as physical surfing is banned.
I paddled into the waves of sensation, and I reached back in a soul arch to grab a deeper understanding of the human perception of conflict and I examined its deeply connected relationship to the SENSE of peace.
One cannot exist without the other.
You cannot surf a flat ocean surface; there must be a wave to take your human perception to where the I Am awareness ALREADY exists.
Do not fail to make waves my friends.
A still ocean surface is nothing more than waiting for some outside energy or force to come make a choice in your life.
As the God also, there is no one left to make a choice.
That lies in your hands alone.
Do not wait for a wave, make your own!
If you choose ---
Sar’h and KH
We also invite you to watch a video on moving from the controlling nature of the perception to neutral observation to the creative spark of neutrality in experience - two very different things.
The video includes some patron updates and most importantly, what is is like to meet the God, also - not just the knowingness of God, also - AND what's the difference between human empathy and soul compassion - how do they dance together? Fun stuff!
CHEERS TO A STATE OF FURTHER!
Lauren Hutton (Sarah) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and shares her work here with the Magus Kuthumi.