After the last Keahak channel held on May 23, 2020, I sensed to share how I almost left physical form on accident and share how I returned from realization ‘out there’ to bringing it to here and now, staying in physical form.
As you all know, one can get to the depths of allowing – knowing your realization is not here in the Earth reality play but ‘over there’ in the all that is YOU – and when you hit that deep space, absolutely nothing in your previous human life matters anymore.
Not your partner, not your bank account, not your family or Shaumbra friends, and, in my case, not even my dog.
The ecstasy of the I Am is truly something that cannot compare to what we all believed was love when we were still in the limited human perceptions rather than the sensations of the God, also.
When I attended the Master’s Life 3: Embodied Consciousness recording live, ASG said: “One cannot know love until they know the ecstasy of the I Am.”
I wrote it down in my notes and underlined it.
This is what I came here to experience – not in a mental concept but with deep sensation beyond emotion, beyond story lines.
As I have written before – realization does in fact occur ‘over there’ as ASG said in a Keahak channel about two months ago – yet embodied realization is when you bring ‘over there’ to meet here and now. The endless Now and infinite Here.
Keahak does something truly wonderful for me. It provides a beautiful hindsight master’s view of what occurred for me in years past.
Sometimes and very rarely it reveals something in the present, but ninety percent of the time Keahak allows me to say with great enthusiasm, “Oh that’s what happened (blank) years ago.”
Just like it is for you, the words ASG shares in Keahak are Me talking to Me. How cool is that?
I’ll take you back to September 2017. I was in Kuta, Bali, traveling with my then Shaumbra partner.
One hot night towards the end of our stay in Bali, I had the dream of all dreams I never told him or anyone about the dream – not until a year later or so when I go through and write my story down allowing the words to simmer and bubble up in their divine timing.
Then, I could not speak the words.
In the dream, I am standing in a long dark hallway. The walls of the hallway are like castle walls. Fire-breathing lanterns light the path before me.
Now I know from Keahak – that we can call this the Hallway of Wisdom – the alters (the first part of the Keahak series) lining the halls – way back in 2017.
Time is not linear. It bends and folds upon itself as we do, allowing to points in a linear line to loop and intersect in the beauty that is life with the veils fully lifted to reveal our inimitable grandness.
I was walking the hallways of wisdom alone, and then a large group of people come by.
I stopped the gentleman in front.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“We are going to a costume party of sorts,” he said. “We are all dressed up in our ‘costumes’ from our last life on Earth.”
What he meant is that each person is wearingtheir human identity from the lifetime in which they experienced realization or their last lifetime.
“Do you want to come?” he asked.
“No. I think I’ll stay on my own,” I said.
I felt myself un-group and de-tribe entirely.
I un-grouped from Shaumbra, from the Crimson Council, from my archangel family and from my ancestral all at once in a state of deep, deep allowing.
What was I allowing? Self and self alone.
The huge raucous party procession went by me.
I waved goodbye, and once they passed I felt that ecstasy of the I Am that I had underlined in my journal.
I followed it through the hallways until I came upon a set of stairs that was mine and mine alone.
I started to climb the stairs, but I found I did not need my feet to walk. I floated.
I entered a room with high ceilings. The walls were lined with books that stretched floor to roof. Several windows displayed vast and unearthly landscapes.
I was in the library of my own soul’s wisdom.
I started to feel sleepy, so I lay down on a couch, which instantly manifested as soon as I felt tired.
Just before I lay down, I saw an object on a desk in front of me.
It was like a picture frame but instead of a photo behind the glass it showed the cosmos.
I could compare the object to a glass ant farm, but instead of the ants digging tunnels, it was like looking into the Milky Way from the clear desert sky on a new moon.
The sensation inside of me showed me, “The stars are aligned for your realization, for your Return to Self. It is Now.”
The date is set.
I laid down on the couch, experiencing the deepest state of allowing and relaxing of lifetimes.
The couch was so comfortable, I sank into it.
I began to make a decision in sensation that I would stay here. I would stay here on this couch for eternity. I was so very tired of life. I was so very weepy. I felt very done with the world in this moment. There was nothing left for me on Earth.
This was not because my life felt bad or I was suffering. It was a sensation of completeness – that I had experienced everything the world had to offer.
The ecstasy of the I Am was all I ever wanted to experience and now it was here. Surely, it was okay to curl up on my own cosmic couch and stay never to return to Earth again.
In Keahak terms, I was ‘over there’ in my realization, and I was not going to go back to the ‘here’ of Earth.
I did not realize at the time that something else was brewing inside of me – something we call New Life – Nova Vita – USARA.
Just then an older woman who called herself Hilde burst into the library room I was in.
“This never happens!” she yelled. “You are not supposed to be here!”
She pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and said, “You have to go back. And you have to do it Now. This never happens!”
At first, I thought she was angry. Then, I realized she was panicked. It was fear.
I wasn’t really interested in going back, and then she used shock to pull me from the trance.
“Your mom called. She is dying,” she said. “She needs you.”
She held up the cell phone and waved it in my face.
Earth reality came back and slapped me in the face.
Wake up, get your shit together, my insides sang to me.
“Okay. Okay. I will go back,” I replied.
Hilde walked me to a room and told me to sit down on what looked like a portal to a tube - like a tunneled water slide at a hotel resort.
She told me to sit in the lotus pose and to relax. She was shooting me through a tube back to Earth.
I realize now Hilde was a facet of myself kicking me in the ass to get me back to finish the job of this last life. To kick me into gear for something now available on Earth that was not available before. The nectar of New Life. I could begin to taste it.
Just before she ‘hit the button’ to send me back to the ‘over here’, the man from the party brought me a plate of whipped cream leftover from the party. I smiled.
It was – to this day – the best thing I have ever tasted, more real than any Earth reality.
With a big fat smile on my face, the bottom dropped out from where I floated in the lotus position and my consciousness returned to my energetic form – the body lying in the bed in Kuta, Bali.
Sleeping Lauren felt the jolt of the consciousness returning the energetic form – I was no longer a soul inhabiting a physical body, man what a racket that was – I was simply energy responding to my own inimitable consciousness of being God, also.
Back in human form, I woke up in a pool of my own sweat, heart racing.
I called my mom. She was fine. This was a tactic use to shock me into returning to Earth. It worked.
My then-partner woke up finally woke up and asked what was going on.
“Nothing. I just had a dream,” I responded.
Three months later I crossed the Threshold, which is nothing more than crossing the wall of fire – yet again – and returning to who I am/ was prior to consciousness.
The road after realization – in the last two and a half years – has been winding and sometimes downright painful to the humanity I chose to keep and cherish. I am not going to lie to you.
I made my way to the over there while staying in physical form a year later with my biological body fading into my I Am-ness, becoming one.
As this happened, anything that no longer fit into my new state of being went to the wayside. The partner. The ability to relate to my peers. Friends. Several moves until I found the positioning on Earth in which my light should go.
I realized that my gifts – my true Is-ness and Being-ness here and now embodied – were to sovereignly support lovely beings choosing realization while staying in physical form.
It’s not something my human would have chosen. In fact, it is something I do not take lightly and something I scan for energetic imbalance no less than 5,000 times a day – without thought, just on auto-pilot of being-ness.
It is not something my integrated ego likes to do, it is just who I am.
It took two very long years to reconcile it. It is not a path of parties and community. It’s a responsibility, but I came to understand my service is my sovereignty, and my sovereignty is my freedom. That won’t make sense in the mind. To the mind everything about mastery is a paradox. To an integrated being, paradox is simply is-ness for there’s no separation of duality. It flows, instead, in sparkling neutrality.
There’s magic too. Magic lies in the sparkling neutrality, in the beautiful tension that occurs between human and divine combined as one, a dance between energy and consciousness that were never not one and the same.
My I Am is fully here on Earth embodied. This is the Atlantean Dream and I made it. Tears pour down my face. I made it.
One day there will be more and more of us and what we will co-create will be beyond anything any of us could have ever dreamed until now.
Oh man, I would have been so upset to miss this final experience.
New Life. Once you drop to the zero point – to the bottom of the no self – a New Self Emerges. I will not write too much about it.
Like the dream when it first happened, it is almost to special to me to share it out loud.
But I will share it, and I will stay on Earth for a long while to come.
I still cry every single day. But they are tears of beauty, deep sensuality, and grief that contains no object, which is no longer considered a ‘bad’ thing.
I can’t tell you why it is worth it to stay on Earth, but I can ask:
Don’t you want to find out?
Hello friends and happiest of New Years!
I wrote this experiential article on Christmas Eve 2019, in honor of all the Merlins and Masters choosing realization in the year 2020.
I am so in honor of you and want to be one of the first beings to swing out into the future now moment and say, "Hello. I see you. Wanna play?"
Here we go. Grab your surfboards...
The last ocean swell has left the island. For those who do not surf physical waves – conscious ones, instead – that means there is nowhere to surf by my home right now.
I did get three glorious days of cold but sweet surf in before the ocean became flat once again. When that happens, I turn back to my first true love – writing. Another form of surf!
You know I use the waves and surfing analogy a lot when it comes to realization. It’s what I know, and it is simply appropriate.
Sometimes in allowing embodied realization it feels like nothing is happening. "Why is nothing happening?"
Basically, you are a surfer standing on the sand, all dressed in your wetsuit and holding your surfboard, ready to surf but the waves aren’t there yet.
So, you wait. And you wait some more.
You go do other things until the waves show up, ready to be ridden.
Those waves are your I AM consciousness.
The surfer is the human you choosing realization combined with the wisdom of the soul or the master. The master and human combined form the Merlin.
The surfboard is a vehicle called allowing.
The human and the master – containing all the wisdom from all lifetimes and in between – combined, which some call Merlin, is standing on the sand, holding its allowing surfboard, and waiting for the waves of conscious awareness to come pick up the Merlin and deliver it in unity of the trinity of Self – soul, human and the Infinite Mystery of the I AM combined as ONE.
You wait and you wait and you wait for the waves to form.
“Where are the waves of realization?” you ask, tapping your foot impatient. It feels like IT is taking forever.
You wait so long, you just brush it aside. Either the waves will come or they will not. Either realization will be there or it won't.
“I can’t care anymore,” you tell yourself.
Then one day, you, the human, look out from your balcony and see something starting to form in the ocean.
The Merlin in You says, "Hey, take note." So you do.
The Wisdom of the Master says, "It is time."
Through your combined vision - human and divine - you see a little set of waves come through.
Then another set comes through. And another.
With each set the waves get bigger.
The waves get cleaner, which means they will be worthy of surf.
There’s a sensation that flows through your body of consciousness that says without words: “Are you ready? It is time.”
The thing is at this point you know you are ready.
The dragon expression of You cast its unrelenting vision of clarity upon all you had left to clear as a human and a souled being, to prepare you for this moment.
You studied and studied and then you dropped it.
Your physical body broke down, and re-wired itself.
All in preparation for this ONE moment beyond time and space - Realization.
There was nothing more to learn right now. It was only about allowing.
"Are you going to allow the leap into consciousness?"
Yes. Yes, you are.
In the days leading up to the surf waves coming to your island, a sensation of deep stillness and surrender to SELF already set in as you were waiting for the waves to arrive.
You became peacefully aware of all of your SELF, as you pulled back from external reality. All of it.
A deep peace combined with the sensation: it doesn't matter. None of the stuff I thought mattered actually does.
And now the day is here. You were told the date was set. Sometimes you doubted it, but now you know it is true. It always has been true.
The I AM consciousness wave is there. It has finally arrived. That voice inside you says silently, “This is it. Realization.”
“Will you ride the wave?”
The question comes in as choice – one last time – and then you realized quickly, “Oh yes, I have already ridden the I AM consciousness wave and it works out just fine.”
You have waited all your lifetimes for this moment.
The human almost in a trance-like state, wisdom of the master in tow, gathers up its surfboard.
The paddle out to the breaking wave is easy. You are not having to fight to paddle out this time.
The dragon clarity dissolved the baggage that weighed you down before, creating a friction the last time you attempted to paddle out. Readiness.
It’s almost as if the current is dragging you effortlessly out to the wave’s peak without you doing anything. Ease.
It is all happening. Holy shit.
Once you get your surfboard lined up with the wave’s peak, you watch a few sets of waves go past you and then you see IT.
THAT is the wave I am going surf. That is the wave of realization.
You can sense in your cells and the space between the cells the wave forming from far away. As it rolls toward you, it begins to grow taller.
The wave grows as it sucks water from the ocean floor, and you know it’s going to be a big one. Oh. My. Goodness.
The soul sings, “There is nothing to fear.”
And, the human trusts this song of the soul above all else.
You maneuver yourself on your allowing surfboard into the best position to catch the wave.
Your master or soul wisdom is the navigator here.
It places you in the perfect spot to catch this wave of consciousness - your inimitable I AM consciousness - heading towards you.
The human gives it two short paddles into the wave. Left arm. Right arm. Stand up. Pop. You're flying down the crest of the realization wave. A wave that is yours alone.
Oh my goodness! it’s happening. This is really happening.
Okay, now, don’t forget to enjoy it. Like really take it in.
The human you almost cannot believe it. But it does anyway. A blind trust that comes from the deep stillness that set in many days ago.
Then you’re standing on the surfboard riding the wave, soaring and dancing across the face of the wave effortlessly, when you realize I am THAT.
I am THAT wave of pure, undiluted, infinite consciousness. The rest was a grand illusion. That wave is Me!
It’s a long ride, this wave of realization, and then when the wave stops, it folds into the ocean, and as you fly off the surfboard, hands in the air in total celebration, you fold into THAT wave as well - human and soul as one merge and combine with the I AM THAT I AM - the oceanic Self.
Then you realize in the free fall from standing on the surfboard until the time you hit the water's surface:
The ocean is YOU.
The surfboard is YOU.
The previously limited human, even, is YOU.
The soul, simply another facet of YOU.
The dragon, an expression of You that prepared you for this experience.
YOU are THAT.
I AM THAT - I AM.
You are all one bottom-less ocean of consciousness. YOU are GOD, also.
This feels so good. And you sit with it. WHOLENESS. UNITY. BEAUTY. LOVE. GOD...
All the things that were once perceptions to be explored individually, they are NOW sensations that run simultaneously. Kaleidoscopic vision. Singularly multiple voice.
Like an orgasm, you hold it until you cannot anymore. Deep release. A deep surrender to the void.
When it’s time to come back out of the ocean and walk on the sandy shores of physical reality, it is YOU that emerges. A state of no separation. A fluid being with no fixed identity.
Not only that, there is an entirely different world waiting to be explored as YOU – in an oceanic state of no separation.
And that’s where things start to get real interesting. It is when you start to really live - for the very first time.
This is where my next book will pick up.
It will cover my life experiences spanning the first year after realization. How do you operate in a world now as a newly realized being?
Like Morya said: "I guess you get to create it!"
Who emerged from the realization wave, and how did they interact with the world after everything changed?
I will cover how in changing my relationship with energy in a realized state of being I went from merely surviving to absolutely thriving. And, what it looked like to take this experience and embody it fully.
Recently, Adamus St. Germain said more than one thousand beings would step into the initial state of realization in 2020.
First, I want to honor you. Please do not fail to enjoy the ride. It only happens once.
Second, after the dust settles, you will realize realization is only the tip of the iceberg, not the whole iceberg. What you thought was the conclusion to the story, now becomes the jumping off point for embodiment and New Life, USARA.
Third, I’ll hope you’ll come by to play with us when the realization dust settles. I hope you come share your embodiment with us, and when it drops you off into New Life, Nova Vita, USARA.
We will be here waiting.
Finally, I will see you on our YouTube channel on Monday, January 6th, for the New Year Satsang.
HAPPY 2020!!! THE YEAR OF NEW ENERGY CREATION!
In honor of you --
Sar'h: the Vessel of USARA consciousness for anyone choosing New Life in Embodied Form
Morya: Holding open the door for fully embodied realization and New Energy Creation
We love you. Even Morya gets a little soft tapping into this potential.
REQUEST: If you found this article supportive, please feel free to forward it to any friends who might appreciate it. As you all grow, we match it. Thank you!
This was a patron only post but it's too important. This took me two years to figure out. I hope you find it supportive...For a Shaumbra audience, specifically....
New Earth is such an illusive concept sometimes. For those of you who follow the ProGnost updates - will know that while Adamus St. Germain never said that the New Earth existed beyond the Old One in physicality - even though he said they would never come together - often people use the mind to view it that way...
New Earth is some sort of far off place for them - one you can get to by death or by dragon.
By dragon - I mean allowing SELF to go beyond all the belief systems, old traumas, storylines of lifetimes AND in allowing the forgiveness of the I AM - to incinerate any perception that I ever did anything wrong. Guilt --- Innocence....
The eye of dragon's clarity (an expression of the I AM - it is) looked into my body of consciousness and breathed the clarity into my being - much to the pain of the human. For I wasn't going to take any 'junk' with me into 'first realization' of the I AM THAT.
Reversing into the realized state - which is necessary to embody fully and live in new earth realities - often contains the sensation of getting sucked through the eye of a needle, nothing can come through the tiny eye of the needle but Self.
For me, this was the final let go - you allow your little me to get sucked through the eye of the needle and it comes out in a fluid formless form...
Anything that was stuck to little me (human) was "removed" (integrated and woven into the tapestry of Self) as the Self and Self alone make its way through the eye of the needle - then VOID - the black hole as someone emailed me about.
In the darkness --- the eyes adjust into a ONE vision - a state of no separation - I began to feel free to move about the cabin - or caverns of my being ness - exploring without overlays.
The answer to the question WHO AM I? arose without overlay of stories that only exist in an illusory matrix - or the surface of the oceans waves - in a collective dream state that defines most beings life on Earth.
After the initial elation of having arrived - reversing into realization - wears off, I found myself in a dry desert - one where the sun never rises and my thirst could not be quenched.
It's not that it cannot be quenched but felt so because none of the old ways worked - you cannot quench your thirst from anything in the collective dream matrix. No spiritual highs, no filling yourself up with another's love, nothing external. No validation from friend or masters before you...
Then a cool glass of water appears, and self-less Self drank it. That's the metaphor for the I AM, the I Exist, coming into physical form - embodiment.
In this experience of moving from realization into embodiment, the I AM again acted as the dragon of clarity. As it makes its way into the vessel (through my spine), biology begins to integrate and/ or dissolve. The light of awareness rolls throughout the cells and space between cells, leaving nothing unchanged. The dream of the collective old Earth experience is cleared out for truly NEW.
The standard biological body too gains its sovereignty. Wow. Let that sink in. Holy wow. - I say this to myself...
And this is where New Life began - Nova Vita or USARA - and I found I never had to leave "illusory physical here" to get there. New Earth is right here - right now - and it became my playground.
It's not a 3D experience, instead New Earth is a weaving of many - infinite reality streams - that make up the New Earth in sensation.
Time and space move through me (creator mode!).
The surface of the water, the collective dream matrix, is full of illuminated potentials and possibilities, simply by playing within my own energy and consciousness below the surface of the water.
New Earth and New Life are not out there - I found I did not have to fly to get there - the only way there was to dive so deep in myself only - to get to the sensation of lost - only to find I Am HOME and I never left it (I indeed never crossed the wall of fire - that was the greatest hypnosis). Even for the ones leaving physical form to make their way to New Earth living (deep honor for them) the way is through...
This morning I woke up to this little sun shining on the wall of my living room (picture). It's just a silly picture AND I realized I had my own sun that rises on my reality, my sovereign BON screen that is mine and mine alone - and yet nothing is ever lonely about it.
I feel all the illusive human things that I could never get - like love, like community, like creation, actual fun without having to play the role on stage - all the things I gave up going through the eye of the needle that is the self-realization experience - well, they are all just now available to me. I am creating it - without agenda- as I go along. I am having fun - my thirst quenched. I cannot take the dream seriously - by Dream I mean the matrix or collective Earth experience...Yet, in playing with it freely, I see I am honoring it...
The two years I spent in the dark desert when the sun never rose and I could never quench my thirst. They were my way here, home - the return to SELF....
The was not physical death, yet I arrived by both many deaths and the unrelenting Dragon expression of the I AM THAT I AM/ I EXIST...
I EXIST IS NOT PASSIVE, IT IS INHERENTLY CREATIVE (fueled by G-N-O-S-T)... See you in the HOK....
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Lauren Hutton (Sarah) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and shares her work here with the Magus Kuthumi.