A CASE OF THE MISTAKEN I
May this bring you peace, should you seek it.
We have been human for so long that we might have forgotten – on various occasions – that the human parts and pieces of ourselves were designed to allow us to experience on our own consciousness in a physical form.
Not to become the definers of our experiences here on Earth, but allowing us to experience our own consciousness instead. A vehicle for wisdom, rather than the driver.
It’s easy to forget when the bills pile up – when our bodies ache and cry out for attention – when a love interest fails to give us what we need – that the perceived “I” experiencing the pain, fear or rejection – well, this is the flashing reminder: “This is not us. This is not You.”
When I look back upon the move screen of my human life, through the Atlantean brain memory and now from the I AM consciousness (both in linear time and space and beyond it), I can see how I used the word “I”.
I am in pain.
I am hurt.
I am struggling to thrive in life.
I need help.
I am choosing realization, even.
But it’s not really the I who is in this experience.
Now, I can look back upon various points in time and space and see so clearly human suffering was and is an illusion.
For example, walking away from a partner – and there were a few – and the pain that comes from this experience. Wrapped up in the drama of it, I found myself saying, “I am so sad; I am so hurt.”
But in going back to view the experience, I see so clearly the I AM THAT – my true or actual self – was not in any pain or suffering or sadness. This human actor on stage was not actually who I was or am. It was an illusion.
It was only that tiny piece of me – that loves to assert its dominance in the experience who was actually having those feelings of hurt, rejection, fear or pain. It feels so separate from Me.
And I can bring in the stage actor who is crying into the fold of the I AM and know I was never really that sad, but what a movie that was. The acting was so good, I actually forgot is wasn’t real.
I realized it was real until it was not. It was real until the illusion became so very clear through the single eye of awareness.
Further, I can see when others are in suffering this use of the term “I” – especially when the mind has got the best of them. The membrane (memory brain – a creation of Atlantis) covering, blurring the actuality of what has occurred.
In Eastern wisdom that would be referred to as the veil of maya, or duality, that is keeping us from seeing the story-less story.
Again, an Atlantean creation, made by you and me and the others who are now saying no more…Let’s not just lift the veil, let’s burn it so it can never be put back on by anyone else.
It’s not done for penance or atonement; it’s a step taken in self-love and radical compassion for Self, and those who will come after us to have the Earthly experience, perhaps for the very first time – in the age of the machines, no less.
I am going mad, they might say to me.
But truly, it is not actually them going insane.
The brain has simply gone off its rocker because it knows its reign has come to an end. It falls into the illusion that it is dying, so it claws its way to the surface, grasping for breath, but it is not You.
Beyond the “I am going crazy” experience, I see so clearly their I AM sits calmly humming its hum-less tune waiting for the veils to lift so they too can see the human experience-er is really there to experiencing their own consciousness.
Not to be the leader in experience – the driver – the actor – but the vehicle for energy and consciousness to meet and merge as one – the New Energy.
It’s time to stop the perception of the human experience separated – a view created by the veil, or the membrane (memory brain) – to weave into the fabric of our being.
And in doing so, we realize death was but an illusion, but it felt so real when the human separate took its last breath before surrendering to the I AM consciousness, or simply knowing it was never not part of the whole, the Self.
To remember, while we might have lost the perceived independence of the human persona – also called human free will – we will never lose our humanity.
It will live on as a golden thread in the multi-colored, multi-verse of our I AM consciousness. We do not reject Earth, or nature, when allowing our humanity to weave into the fabric of our being-ness, we honor it at the most expanded level.
To weave this all together, something I have been feeling lately as magnificent beings come into their awareness, is the case of the mistaken I.
As thought from the memory brain, Atlantean mind – rather than as I AM consciousness – takes hold or grasps the steering wheel, it is easy to forget and think this suffering/ pain/ drama is actually the “I” we speak of – this human thought or stage experiencer.
But that’s not the I. It’s just a part or piece of yourself forgetting the big picture.
Also, when you are looking at how Your Energy responds to Your Consciousness, please do not forget under the haze of the veil’s amnesia – that consciousness does not respond to thought, it responds to the consciousness of the I AM.
The human part of you, the Atlantean mind part of you, may be thinking a so-called negative thought or wishing for a solution to a perceived problem, and either nothing happens or something perceived as bad happens.
That is not a reflection of your consciousness. Your bank account, your relationships, and your health are not a direct reflection of “how much” consciousness you contain. Consciousness cannot be measured. Being messy on the surface does not mean you are not a master. It means you are allowing your relationship with Your energy shift with the changing tides of consciousness.
Energy which flows from within – not from your Atlantean designed body – but within greater You and responds to your inimitable consciousness.
That’s not human story uniqueness – your human stories are not that unique because there’s not a whole lot of material to choose from in the local linear – but from the cannot be replicated consciousness that is the I AM THAT – Spirit Individualized. Actual uniqueness.
Energy flow bypasses the brain, the thought and the mistaken identity of I, the human who is in its last rebellion to be in charge, rather than the experiencer and the observer of the transfiguration of the I AM SELF.
There’s nothing left to do here but relax, dear human. This play is over and now we are stepping into New Life on New Earth, and we won’t have to slog through this illusion of suffering ever again – you only have to Let Go, and Let God – Spirit Individualized hum its hum-less tune.
Then we can write new stories - ones that will blow your socks off - if you let go.
I AM SEX
How long have I apologized for my existence as a feminine being? And now how do I own it?
This is poem I wrote in my surf session this morning after a storm.
After I was done writing it and getting pleasantly pounded in the waves, a rainbow appeared... It's time to go home - wound of adam, I AM SEX... so deal with it....!!!
Feeling those waves come through...
There's something deeper here about being an embodied feminine being (and still having to hide my sexuality, my youth, which is more about apologizing for being a creator...)- but I don't quite have the words for this yet so this will have to do for now...
Something that runs through me each time I try to step back into the Crimson Circle, which still feels no place for an embodied being, and certainly not a feminine one. Not feminine as a dualistic counter part but as a whole being in and of itself..
I AM SEX
EVERY BREATH I BREATHE ORIGINATES IN MY WOMB OF DIVINITY
THE WOMB CREATION
THE EXPRESSIONS, MY CHILDREN
WHEN I PADDLE INTO A WAVE, I MAKE LOVE TO IT
WHEN I WIPE OUT ON MY SURF BOARD AND TUMBLE INTO THE ABYSS OF THE OCEAN
- ROLLING OUT OF CONTROL THROUGH THE DEPTHS OF THE SPINNING INFINITY
- I BREATHE WITHOUT OXYGEN
IN THAT MOMENT, I AM MAKING LOVE TO MYSELF, TO THE OCEAN -
THERE IS NO LINE OF SEPARATION
WHEN I HOLD SOMEONE’S HAND – OR HUG A FRIEND
I MAKE LOVE TO THEM
I MAKE LOVE WITH THE PEOPLE I SUPPORT BEYOND TIME AND SPACE
I BREATHE SEX, I AM IT
SEX IS PART OF WHOM I AM
- THE CREATOR
I CANNOT REMOVE IT, BUT OH HOW I TRIED
SEX DRIPS OFF MY BODY AND I CANNOT STOP IT OR APOLOGIZE FOR IT
SEX RADIATES FROM THE EDGE-LESS EDGES OF MY BEING
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR RESPONSE TO IT
FOR SO LONG MEN HAVE WANTED TO BREATHE MY BREATH
THEY SEEM UNABLE TO FIND THEIR OWN
I TRIED TO BREATHE IT FOR YOU
OH HOW I TRIED...
ALL I DID WAS LOSE MINE
WOMEN HAVE FEARED AND CONDEMED ME
TONE IT DOWN, THEY SAID
I PUT ON THE BIG BOXY BLACK SUIT FOR YOU TO HIDE MY CURVES, MY FERTILITY
IT DID NOT WORK
BUT I TRIED
-AS TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY CHIN INTO THE CURVE BETWEEN MY BREASTS
I WILL NOT STOP DANCING FOR YOU.
I WILL NOT STOP DANCING - FOR - YOU.
THE WHOLE MOMENT, I SAT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN
WAVES CRASHING ABOVE
UNABLE TO GRASP AT OXYGEN
I REALIZED I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT AGAIN
FOR BEING WOMB-MAN
MY TEARS FLOWED INTO THE OCEAN
– YOUR FACE CANNOT GET WET WHEN YOU ARE UNDER WATER
MY CHEEKS SPILLED OUT FROM THE SEAT OF MY SWIMSUIT
I LET THEM FREE, I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THEM
I WILL OWN MY WOMBY BREATH OF CREATION
I WILL NOT HIDE IT AWAY, OR COVER IT IN MEN’S CLOTHING
AS LONG AS I CAN BREATHE THE BREATH OF CREATION -
AS LONG AS I CAN CATCH THE WAVES ON A STORMY DAY
- WHEN THE LIGHTENING GIVES WAY TO A RAINBOW -
I AM SEX
THERE’S NO WAY TO REMOVE THAT FROM BEING
IT IS INTERTWINED WITHIN THE CAVERNS OF MY ESSENCE-IAL SELF
I WILL NOT DISCARD MY WOMB FOR YOU – OR ANYONE –
YOUR DISCOMFORT IS MY KNOWING EXACTLY WHO I AM
I AM SEX
AND WITHOUT IT MY JOY FOR THIS WORLD DIMS INTO A TINY FLAME IN A DYING FLAME
SEX IS MY KNOWING - I AM THE SUN
-THE SUN NEVER SAYS EXCUSE ME WHILE I COVER UP MY LIGHT TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE
-IT SHOWS UP BREASTS HANGING OUT OF ITS BIKINI SAYING, BITCH, I AM HERE
-IT THROWS THAT OLD BOXY SUIT INTO THE TRASH OF SHIT THAT'S NOT OURS
I AM SEX - DEAL WITH IT!
I lie in wait for when it is appropriate and safe for an embodied being can return to the place from which she came. Until then, I will continue to be sex, having it ooze off me in my creatorship. I cannot cloak my consciousness for you.
OCTOBER'S SAR'H SATSANG
I'm heading out of town next week so the October Satsang was pre-recorded. We will be back to the live webcast the first Monday of November. Thank you, friends.
Latest Book Review: A Modern Story of Self-Realization
"Lauren's book is a must read for everybody who has gone way beyond spiritual dabbling here and there but is seriously committed to Embodied (Self)Realization this lifetime. Having a similar and yet so different background I have come to same perceptions of Realization like Lauren shares in her book. It's a beautiful and messy journey and then it's no journey at all.
Lauren describes "the good, the bad & the ugly" in her own authentic voice and while she does she's always respectful to herself and the people and organizations who crossed her way to Realization. This alone is an inspiration. And there is more: A beautiful energy woven into the words. And while the words are beautiful, it's the energy that really makes this book a true gem within the (Self)Realization community. Thank you Lauren for sharing your experiences with the world." - Nicole
The Book can be purchased on Amazon worldwide...HERE...
Choosing soverign support
I'm not so sure how to state this. Sometimes people come to me to be reminded of the I AM THAT I AM - to be reminded of their own unique, inimitable truth - their sovereignty.
Sometimes that person has been to another person (a healer, a shaman, a life coach, a consciousness coach, the list goes on).
That "service" worker has provided the person with a list of distractions from realization - that their hamster is an ascended master, that they can channel another being (allow your realization and then see what you are passionate about), that there's a soul mate out there for them (allow your realization then explore love), all sorts of external, spiritual distractions (more stories and more stories).
I trust the person coming to me is a master discerner - a sovereign being who knows what is best for them, that they came to be reminded nothing is external.
When choosing realization anything that is not diving into the Infinite Mystery of the I AM is a huge distraction and can also create all sorts of weirdness in their space.
Everything is always appropriate (and everyone provides their service which not everyone's flavor) but I want to be clear I do not endorse anyone out there doing anything.
The only thing I really trust out there is the Adamus St. Germain materials (not a human organization, not a group or anything else) but dialing direct to ASG.
I trust the materials I share (so glad I waited to really put out there only when I came into my own clarity - I tried before realization and realized it was way too soon to be helping other people - when I realized this, I closed my shop, took down my shingle and went inward).
I personally found the best sovereign support around working directly with Adamus St. G and the materials also from Tobias. Working with masters directly AND above all my I AM THAT I AM.
I've had my share of "issues" with the organization side of things but beyond all of that, there is nothing I would put my gut check against besides Tobias and ASG.
I just want to make that clear.
Morya and I sovereignly support and work with people standing upon the Threshold of realization and what comes after.
We'd never talk about your archangel dog, who you should channel or tell you about your soul mate or anything on the surface of the water.
We only hold the space for you stepping into your I AM THAT I AM and finding your own unique truth.
Simply illuminating pathways that are yours and yours alone.
I just need to say that so I can go to sleep at night with clarity in sharing what we share.
You are always going to know what's best for YOU. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise (like you drink too much water, or your husband is not your soul mate or whatever), they have violated the most sacred of principles: SOVEREIGNTY.
I will never ever do that. Ever. Morya and St. Germain are with me daily - as I step into my passion for whatever it is I am here to share. It keeps me honest. It keeps me sovereign. I would never go in and fiddle with someone else's energy, and I would encourage others to be aware of this.
If someone is coaching realization, I hope they will have gone through it first and really allowed some time alone to allow it to really sink into full embodiment first.
I got a ticket for speeding - I tried to do this without having to live it - and that dragon of clarity came in and incinerated the coach/teacher/ healer/ I know better than other identity (spiritual ego) until I was left a puddle of no-thing on the floor.
I am simply a being in my I AM meeting with someone else discovering their I AM. There is no identity in it.
I had to do this FIRST before I shared anything of real value. I had to find my own sovereignty before I could support anyone else in theirs.
I just had to write it down. Deep breath.
Continuation... things a master in sovereign support would NEVER do...
- hook you up with your “soul mate” or play match maker
- tell you what medical procedures you need and do not need, what medicines you need or do not need
- try to heal you or make you whole, only you can do that
- tell you how to live your life in anyway or how to do your realization
- tell you what to eat
- give specific relationship advice
-tell you where to invest your money - noooo!
- anything but illuminate potentials and possibilities for you finding your own answers for yourself
- ask you to keep coming back for session after session
If you find yourself desiring sovereign support or need a little umpf in applying the Crimson Circle materials to your life, please check out our offerings HERE.
Lauren Hutton (Sarah) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and shares her work joyously here with the Magus Kuthumi.