May this bring you peace, should you seek it.
We have been human for so long that we might have forgotten – on various occasions – that the human parts and pieces of ourselves were designed to allow us to experience on our own consciousness in a physical form.
Not to become the definers of our experiences here on Earth, but allowing us to experience our own consciousness instead. A vehicle for wisdom, rather than the driver.
It’s easy to forget when the bills pile up – when our bodies ache and cry out for attention – when a love interest fails to give us what we need – that the perceived “I” experiencing the pain, fear or rejection – well, this is the flashing reminder: “This is not us. This is not You.”
When I look back upon the move screen of my human life, through the Atlantean brain memory and now from the I AM consciousness (both in linear time and space and beyond it), I can see how I used the word “I”.
I am in pain.
I am hurt.
I am struggling to thrive in life.
I need help.
I am choosing realization, even.
But it’s not really the I who is in this experience.
Now, I can look back upon various points in time and space and see so clearly human suffering was and is an illusion.
For example, walking away from a partner – and there were a few – and the pain that comes from this experience. Wrapped up in the drama of it, I found myself saying, “I am so sad; I am so hurt.”
But in going back to view the experience, I see so clearly the I AM THAT – my true or actual self – was not in any pain or suffering or sadness. This human actor on stage was not actually who I was or am. It was an illusion.
It was only that tiny piece of me – that loves to assert its dominance in the experience who was actually having those feelings of hurt, rejection, fear or pain. It feels so separate from Me.
And I can bring in the stage actor who is crying into the fold of the I AM and know I was never really that sad, but what a movie that was. The acting was so good, I actually forgot is wasn’t real.
I realized it was real until it was not. It was real until the illusion became so very clear through the single eye of awareness.
Further, I can see when others are in suffering this use of the term “I” – especially when the mind has got the best of them. The membrane (memory brain – a creation of Atlantis) covering, blurring the actuality of what has occurred.
In Eastern wisdom that would be referred to as the veil of maya, or duality, that is keeping us from seeing the story-less story.
Again, an Atlantean creation, made by you and me and the others who are now saying no more…Let’s not just lift the veil, let’s burn it so it can never be put back on by anyone else.
It’s not done for penance or atonement; it’s a step taken in self-love and radical compassion for Self, and those who will come after us to have the Earthly experience, perhaps for the very first time – in the age of the machines, no less.
I am going mad, they might say to me.
But truly, it is not actually them going insane.
The brain has simply gone off its rocker because it knows its reign has come to an end. It falls into the illusion that it is dying, so it claws its way to the surface, grasping for breath, but it is not You.
Beyond the “I am going crazy” experience, I see so clearly their I AM sits calmly humming its hum-less tune waiting for the veils to lift so they too can see the human experience-er is really there to experiencing their own consciousness.
Not to be the leader in experience – the driver – the actor – but the vehicle for energy and consciousness to meet and merge as one – the New Energy.
It’s time to stop the perception of the human experience separated – a view created by the veil, or the membrane (memory brain) – to weave into the fabric of our being.
And in doing so, we realize death was but an illusion, but it felt so real when the human separate took its last breath before surrendering to the I AM consciousness, or simply knowing it was never not part of the whole, the Self.
To remember, while we might have lost the perceived independence of the human persona – also called human free will – we will never lose our humanity.
It will live on as a golden thread in the multi-colored, multi-verse of our I AM consciousness. We do not reject Earth, or nature, when allowing our humanity to weave into the fabric of our being-ness, we honor it at the most expanded level.
To weave this all together, something I have been feeling lately as magnificent beings come into their awareness, is the case of the mistaken I.
As thought from the memory brain, Atlantean mind – rather than as I AM consciousness – takes hold or grasps the steering wheel, it is easy to forget and think this suffering/ pain/ drama is actually the “I” we speak of – this human thought or stage experiencer.
But that’s not the I. It’s just a part or piece of yourself forgetting the big picture.
Also, when you are looking at how Your Energy responds to Your Consciousness, please do not forget under the haze of the veil’s amnesia – that consciousness does not respond to thought, it responds to the consciousness of the I AM.
The human part of you, the Atlantean mind part of you, may be thinking a so-called negative thought or wishing for a solution to a perceived problem, and either nothing happens or something perceived as bad happens.
That is not a reflection of your consciousness. Your bank account, your relationships, and your health are not a direct reflection of “how much” consciousness you contain. Consciousness cannot be measured. Being messy on the surface does not mean you are not a master. It means you are allowing your relationship with Your energy shift with the changing tides of consciousness.
Energy which flows from within – not from your Atlantean designed body – but within greater You and responds to your inimitable consciousness.
That’s not human story uniqueness – your human stories are not that unique because there’s not a whole lot of material to choose from in the local linear – but from the cannot be replicated consciousness that is the I AM THAT – Spirit Individualized. Actual uniqueness.
Energy flow bypasses the brain, the thought and the mistaken identity of I, the human who is in its last rebellion to be in charge, rather than the experiencer and the observer of the transfiguration of the I AM SELF.
There’s nothing left to do here but relax, dear human. This play is over and now we are stepping into New Life on New Earth, and we won’t have to slog through this illusion of suffering ever again – you only have to Let Go, and Let God – Spirit Individualized hum its hum-less tune.
Then we can write new stories - ones that will blow your socks off - if you let go.
How long have I apologized for my existence as a feminine being? And now how do I own it?
This is poem I wrote in my surf session this morning after a storm.
After I was done writing it and getting pleasantly pounded in the waves, a rainbow appeared... It's time to go home - wound of adam, I AM SEX... so deal with it....!!!
Feeling those waves come through...
There's something deeper here about being an embodied feminine being (and still having to hide my sexuality, my youth, which is more about apologizing for being a creator...)- but I don't quite have the words for this yet so this will have to do for now...
Something that runs through me each time I try to step back into the Crimson Circle, which still feels no place for an embodied being, and certainly not a feminine one. Not feminine as a dualistic counter part but as a whole being in and of itself..
I AM SEX
EVERY BREATH I BREATHE ORIGINATES IN MY WOMB OF DIVINITY
THE WOMB CREATION
THE EXPRESSIONS, MY CHILDREN
WHEN I PADDLE INTO A WAVE, I MAKE LOVE TO IT
WHEN I WIPE OUT ON MY SURF BOARD AND TUMBLE INTO THE ABYSS OF THE OCEAN
- ROLLING OUT OF CONTROL THROUGH THE DEPTHS OF THE SPINNING INFINITY
- I BREATHE WITHOUT OXYGEN
IN THAT MOMENT, I AM MAKING LOVE TO MYSELF, TO THE OCEAN -
THERE IS NO LINE OF SEPARATION
WHEN I HOLD SOMEONE’S HAND – OR HUG A FRIEND
I MAKE LOVE TO THEM
I MAKE LOVE WITH THE PEOPLE I SUPPORT BEYOND TIME AND SPACE
I BREATHE SEX, I AM IT
SEX IS PART OF WHOM I AM
- THE CREATOR
I CANNOT REMOVE IT, BUT OH HOW I TRIED
SEX DRIPS OFF MY BODY AND I CANNOT STOP IT OR APOLOGIZE FOR IT
SEX RADIATES FROM THE EDGE-LESS EDGES OF MY BEING
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR RESPONSE TO IT
FOR SO LONG MEN HAVE WANTED TO BREATHE MY BREATH
THEY SEEM UNABLE TO FIND THEIR OWN
I TRIED TO BREATHE IT FOR YOU
OH HOW I TRIED...
ALL I DID WAS LOSE MINE
WOMEN HAVE FEARED AND CONDEMED ME
TONE IT DOWN, THEY SAID
I PUT ON THE BIG BOXY BLACK SUIT FOR YOU TO HIDE MY CURVES, MY FERTILITY
IT DID NOT WORK
BUT I TRIED
-AS TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY CHIN INTO THE CURVE BETWEEN MY BREASTS
I WILL NOT STOP DANCING FOR YOU.
I WILL NOT STOP DANCING - FOR - YOU.
THE WHOLE MOMENT, I SAT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN
WAVES CRASHING ABOVE
UNABLE TO GRASP AT OXYGEN
I REALIZED I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT AGAIN
FOR BEING WOMB-MAN
MY TEARS FLOWED INTO THE OCEAN
– YOUR FACE CANNOT GET WET WHEN YOU ARE UNDER WATER
MY CHEEKS SPILLED OUT FROM THE SEAT OF MY SWIMSUIT
I LET THEM FREE, I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THEM
I WILL OWN MY WOMBY BREATH OF CREATION
I WILL NOT HIDE IT AWAY, OR COVER IT IN MEN’S CLOTHING
AS LONG AS I CAN BREATHE THE BREATH OF CREATION -
AS LONG AS I CAN CATCH THE WAVES ON A STORMY DAY
- WHEN THE LIGHTENING GIVES WAY TO A RAINBOW -
I AM SEX
THERE’S NO WAY TO REMOVE THAT FROM BEING
IT IS INTERTWINED WITHIN THE CAVERNS OF MY ESSENCE-IAL SELF
I WILL NOT DISCARD MY WOMB FOR YOU – OR ANYONE –
YOUR DISCOMFORT IS MY KNOWING EXACTLY WHO I AM
I AM SEX
AND WITHOUT IT MY JOY FOR THIS WORLD DIMS INTO A TINY FLAME IN A DYING FLAME
SEX IS MY KNOWING - I AM THE SUN
-THE SUN NEVER SAYS EXCUSE ME WHILE I COVER UP MY LIGHT TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE
-IT SHOWS UP BREASTS HANGING OUT OF ITS BIKINI SAYING, BITCH, I AM HERE
-IT THROWS THAT OLD BOXY SUIT INTO THE TRASH OF SHIT THAT'S NOT OURS
I AM SEX - DEAL WITH IT!
I lie in wait for when it is appropriate and safe for an embodied being can return to the place from which she came. Until then, I will continue to be sex, having it ooze off me in my creatorship. I cannot cloak my consciousness for you.
Lauren Hutton (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond.