FIVE EXPERIENCES THAT OCCUR POST-REALIZATION
You have finally admitted to your SELF that you are realized, or have had the experience of Returning to Self. Moment of pause to honor YOU. And a whole lot of “Now what?”
My inbox is full - not surprisingly - after St. G has declared more than 10,000 beings on Earth have experienced their realization.
Many are Shaumbra and still many are not, nor have they ever heard of such a term.
Identifying as a Shaumbra is another thing that will end up in the integration trash can that becomes increasingly full post-realization experience.
In the end, or rather, the beginning, you will realize being a Shaumbra is simply another story line, and there’s no room in the empty for stories anymore.
Regardless, life as a realized being is not at all about the stories you told yourselves – I know because I did the same thing. Oh. I held so many garbage stories about what it meant to be realized, crown on my head. Crown is now in the trash, too. I prefer to hold my head weightless of such a thing.
Further, there is no shame in reaching out for sovereign support and having a desire to share your experiences with like- consciousness beings. You can always send me a note. Always.
In fact, I would argue it’s one of the healthiest ways to thrive – not merely survive – in your new-found FREEDOM, a much more appropriate term than realization.
I made a list – one that I will dive deeper into in the Satsang – of all I wish I knew going into FREEDOM.
1) Some days you will feel more human and increasingly empty than you ever have before.
The email goes like this. I feel more human than I ever have, and I have no desire to talk with or be around anyone.
Yes! I get it and this is a temporary state. It is so helpful to have peers in consciousness to connect to when things get real intense, and they will, no doubt.
Alone time is essential, and in staying on Earth after realization – sovereign support can mean the difference from becoming an agoraphobic body curled in your bedsheets wondering what in the actual fuck is going on.
Wasn’t this supposed to be the panacea for all that ails me?
Actually, everything you discovered yourself to be in realization will actually highlight the stuff you hung onto that you are not. That too will all come up - all over again - for another round of garbage can composting.
The dragon continues to make it rounds despite what you see on your social media pages about life after realization.
Ancient integrations will occur. In catching up the mind will go a little off track. The biology will have sometimes extreme and sharp phantom pains.
Everything that you did not deal with prior to realization, will now be on the table to sort out - through allowing through being rather than doing.
However, You will be able to add the GRACE that you are now to it - something you did not have access to pre-realization.
Enjoy the pause of the human moments. They will not last. Nothing lasts in realization.
THERE WILL NEVER BE A SOLID GROUND AGAIN. THE GROUND WAS AN ILLUSION ANYWAY.
I once wrote: being the God, also is a dance with no dance floor. Stop waiting for the dance floor to appear. It is not going to. You learn to float instead.
What I mean is: The experience of being, post-realization, becomes increasingly dynamic – never static – as you weave into an infinite state of further.
You never stop going further into the void of SELF. Never.
There is no finish line. That was a bullshit belief system you told yourself. I know from direct experience.
2) You will not be beyond fear, crossing the valley of alone or the depth of sadness.
As you step into a state of infinite further, you will continue to meet parts and pieces of yourself – often ancient ones – who might appear scary.
As you open up to your own energy, you begin to accept parts of pieces of Self that you were not able to accept prior to witnessing and accepting your own consciousness.
Death and rebirth will be constant themes. For about six months after my initial realization, I was always shocked when I woke up in the morning alive – with absolutely no human identity.
After realization, as I wrote, I crossed the valley of alone and the depthless depth of sadness. I could not have done this prior to realization.
I also lost my mind entirely before it came “online” in this new state of being in a radical act of surrender. Totally terrifying to the humanity layer of Self.
That mind chatter will go away, but it will wax and wane like phases of the moon for some time after realization. The mind can become dark and dramatic and extremely fearful as it comes into alignment with your new state of being. It is not a reflection of your consciousness. At all.
Most ascended masters do not know this first-hand because they experienced their realization, maybe the honeymoon period, and then left the physical body behind.
You are the pioneer and the leader now. They sit resting on their cosmic couches with no true understanding of what it feels like to embody.
3) Things will continue to trigger you, as more and more SELF, or your inimitable consciousness comes into your humanity’s awareness.
Yep, you will still get annoyed and perhaps, like me, you will be more sensitive than you ever were as a human or in your awakening.
This is normal and will subside the deeper you dive into Self, navigating the Void that is YOU after you allow the human identity and even the soul to integrate into the All that is.
Realization was never the cure. It was only the gate into the State of Further. The state of further is how one thrives in life post-realization. Go further! Do not stop here!
4) If you thought you were different from others before, you will begin to see how truly different you actually are.
And that’s a good thing. You do not need to identify with humans or relate to them to THRIVE in their presence.
Instead of being hyper focused on personal interactions in your little sphere, this sensation of how different you actually are is a slip and slide into the greater picture.
This is what takes you into a state of radiating your light on Earth.
It’s like a little membrane or bumper goes up and you simply cannot engage in drama. This makes you feel really different because that’s all human do.
By seeing how different you have become, you open up the door for experiences the UNITY, ONE-NESS and STATE OF NO SEPARATION that is absolute reality.
For a time, relative reality will seem very foreign and then you get over that, and start to being the absolute into the relative and then and only then will you have that BON screen experience in which you have an ACTUAL – not just knowing it but experiencing it – of there is only one energy and it’s all mine.
And hey, actually there is no separation between energy and consciousness even. Energy does not even need to respond to my consciousness anymore. FURTHER.
5) At first there will still be waves of desiring an authentic connection, and a sadness that you cannot experience that anymore because you aren’t living in relative reality.
YET, one of the grandest realizations that will come to light is absolutely nothing is authentic, and everything is authentic – even the humans on autopilot are being authentic to the given moment in time and space.
LIFE AFTER REALIZATION IS ALL ABOUT LETTING GO OF ALL BELIEF SYSTEMS AROUND AUTHENTICITY AND SIMPLY BEING NOTHING AND EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE.
IT’S ALL JUST AN ACT OF CONSCIOUSNESS.
Conscious - YES! But ALWAYS an ACT, nonetheless.
You do not need anything to allow this experience. The post-realization dragon will put it front of your awareness-ready face and burn it to ashes. You can either cry about it like I did, or set off fireworks in celebration of it burning to the ground. Option 2, please.
The body – including the brain in your physical body and the mind outside your physical body – will undergo extreme change and pressure that would make coal turning into a diamond look easy. We will cover all this and more in 2021.
With love, compassion, and an I AM HERE, for anyone choosing to stay and really truly enter that State of Further that is required for THRIVING – not mere survival – in an EMBODIED state of being,
Sar’h and Koot Hoomi, one of the ascended masters with DIRECT experience STAYING here
Moving from 2 to 4: The Era of the Magus is the Arrival of the Fourth Element
When we came to Earth for the very first time, we were human and divine (2).
Ushering in the Era of Yeshua, the trinity was birthed (3).
I am - Soul - Human
(Father, Son and Holy Spirit as one might have learned in Catholic School like me)
The Era of the Magus births the Fourth Element.
I am - Soul (Master) - Human - Gnost/ Instantaneous Wisdom/ Creative Intelligence (The Merlin) or what we call the Magus (4).
The Fourth Element is the availability of the New Energy, in which energy does not simply respond to consciousness simultaneously; instead, energy and consciousness combine as One.
This is something we covering the Navigating the Void Course.
The Short Course called, Beyond Realization: Full Embodiment & The New Energy Experience
Koot Hoomi & I are also covering in in our new channels, #9 with a full overview, which will be up on the website soon.
A Dialogue with Koot Hoomi & Sar'h
In this modern world, information is shoved out through tubes of digitized data, streams of zeros and ones running at Mach speed to get the next latest and greatest thing out there.
Instead of recording a video with Koot Hoomi and making a slide show of all of this, we decided to write it down, like ancient story told over the camp fire of the sovereign collective.
The camp fire is where we all met after the Fall of Atlantis.
The world was a very dark place after the flood, and we all gathered in the Himalayas for a meeting of sorts.
How would we bring the light of awareness back to this world we created? A world we created and then allowed it to have its own sovereignty, just as we allowed ourselves to be sovereign as well.
In that moment in time, in space – at the end of one era and the beginning of a new one – we knew we would meet here again when the planets and the moon and the stars aligned in a Grand Conjunction, marking the arrival of NEW ENERGY being available to ever single soul who held a passion for it.
I hope you spend some time today beyond the noise, and connecting deeply with the creation you allowed its own sovereignty so long ago.
Once upon a time, in a land called the Far East, there lived three magi in three different villages, each having their own inimitably sovereign experiences unbeknownst to each other.
We were not old men, barely in our twenties. I’m not sure how wise we were either. But no one wants to read a story about young dumb men on camels. (wink)
Three men known as Gaspar (Djwal Kuhl), Melchior (Morya), and myself, Balthazar (Koot Hoomi) began to have vivid dreams and visions.
A NEW consciousness was coming to Earth, and we to be there at its arrival. That I knew for sure.
Though my father thought I was mad, at first, my wife at the time knew better and encouraged me to follow my wisdom. To see my intuition through. She too had the dreams.
Once the three of us convened, Gaspar had the unwavering faith in these dreams and visions, a faith that would serve as the bridge for the tiny doubts that would creep into our task.
Melchior had the technological and astrological skills to recognize the Grand Junction of what was coming together in the sky, the “North Star” that would lead us to our destiny. I have never seen a man more precise in his calculations as Melchior.
I played the role of the navigator, the one who would help get us there.
Most of you know how the story goes. Through a series of trials and tribulations, we arrived at the birth of the Christ Consciousness.
However, not told in story, was the fact that each of us, each of the three magi, well, we were all there at the Fall of Atlantis.
Dreams and hearts were broken. The world turned dark for thousands of years. Like you all, we knew one day the door would open again – and we would have another opportunity to live the Atlantean Dream – to bring our consciousness or Spirit to our Earthly form.
And with the arrival of a tiny baby called Yeshua, we knew that the potentials, possibilities, probabilities and pathways (the four P’s) for New Energy – consciousness and energy coming together as One – what was actually being birthed on Earth.
What is happening now again – on this very special day in time and in Ahkuhn – is the return of Christ. Of the Christ Consciousness. Yet, this time it is not a small boy in a manger.
It is YOU.
Each and every one of you is the Christ that is being born under the skies of a GRAND Conjunction.
It is you bringing you Consciousness to physical form – for the first time ever on planet Earth. It is the realization of the Atlantean dream.
After the fall of Atlantis, we would also dream about tomorrow. One day, we would say.
That day is here. Tomorrow is TODAY.
In Spring 2018, I read a book, Balthasar: The Magus, and the story of the three wise men (and more) written by Marisa Calvi and told by Ascended Master Kuthumi.
Ms. Calvi spells things differently than we do, but the story holds.
When I read her book, I read it with Morya by my side and the story was exactly as he told me so many moons ago in my youth. A few words we do not use, but a beautiful transcription of the events.
Since I was a small child, Morya called me the “North Star.”
He told me I never needed to look for it in the sky, because I actually was it. It was me. I was it. You cannot look for something YOU are outside of yourself.
Each of you are your own North Star.
When I read the book, I was creating the space we now enjoy today on Patreon.
I was trying to explain to everyone what the Banyan Tree was, what the sovereign collective was and what sovereign co-creation looked like. And, I was not doing a very good job.
People were still begging and pleading for outside energy and approval and well, I was like the referee in a wrestling ring putting people in time out.
Man, times have changed. No doubt.
At the time, I wrote this in my journal, about the book I had just read:
“At the end of the book, something really struck me.
Kuthumi's soul in Balthasar's body realized at the end of the book that the three wise men (three sovereign souls) had come together to create an experience that would usher in the new conscious brought forth by Yeshua's birth and his role on Earth.
Through Ms. Calvi, Koot Hoomi said each of these three souls came together in creation. And that creation had its own soul. That creation had its own soul. Feel into that.
They were three unique (sovereign) flames in a fire of creation, and that fire had a soul and each of the flames as well, as spirit individualized.
We do not really use the term soul any more as we did back in 2018.
I have been sensing so keenly that the Banyan Tree has started to have its own soul, its own consciousness.
Instead of being infused with each of our wisdom and knowingness (a not so sovereign collective), The Banyan Tree contains its own consciousness.
And like El Morya used to always reminds me, it's time to allow creations the same sovereignty I allow myself. “
Looking back, I realized when let go of trying to manage the Banyan Tree, it burst forth in its own fire of creation. Each realized sovereign being here, adding their flame of sovereign knowingness to the ever-flowing, ever new fire of creation.
A flame that will burn always beyond time and space and in it, for anyone choosing consciousness over automation for eons to come.
The Atlantean Dream was never far off, we only had to suspend the concept of time to claim what was already ours. The kingdom was always within – within our own energy, from the first moment we crossed the Wall of Fire. Never falling from Grace. Because we are GRACE.
What is being birthed here on this day is the Year (or Era, even) of the Magus.
A Magus never tries to manage energy, he or she is simply aware of the dynamics at play.
A Magus is comfortable in the uncomfortable because it knows chaos is the fabric of creation.
A Magus is sovereign – no longer needing a tribe or a group to know its own creational intelligence. A Magus allows its creations full sovereignty beyond a group dynamic.
A Magus holds within and between its cells complete creational intelligence. Wisdom is instantaneous and holds no room for doubt.
The Four Imperatives for Magi in this New Era can be found here: The Four Imperatives for New Energy Creators, Part 1 (Two Hours of Video).
While this magus may appear to be a tiny human surfing Barbie, I experience myself as nothing more than the black and white static on a broken television screen.
The holographic form projected only comes from the will of the God, also, in expression of what best serves humanity at any given time and space.
Once the me patterns are gone, the will is all that fuels the fires of creation. A singular passion for I exist. And even that leaves.
The will as it flows in and out of formless form, leaves nothing untouched or unchanged in its unwavering clarity – with not a single ounce of agenda. Or negotiation.
A pause for all of you who have finally “come out of the closet” to yourself – that you are realized. A pause in deep reverence and honor for you. I see you and I feel you. There’s no words for this. So, it’s here _______.
In my last book, I wrote the following chapter. What comes after is what we are creating right here and right now. The sovereign collective – a place where we can gather – never losing our inimitability but rather in celebration of it:
“It might be a bit difficult to explain to someone who does not find themselves in a perpetual state of being, of becoming more and more Self. I experience layers of Me. Here. Always here, right now. The creator in my creation.
Words fall short when the sensation takes over. Yet, there is a constant feeling of motion, rather than physical movement, in which I am walking backwards into my creation, and going wow, this is how I created it. And, being in total awe of myself once again.
All lifetimes did not lead up to this one life, the one in which I would Return to Self. Instead, I find, in sensation, I expanded so much I absorbed, like a sponge, all the wisdom from previous and future lives, no longer out there but contained within me, and in doing so the history of Self was re-written.
In the experience of absorbing wisdom, I found much to my surprise I went empty not full. For empty created the space in which the New was born, in which I became the sole sovereign designer of the life I had left, the one outstretched before me, or perhaps, behind me.
From the outside linear perspective, it may look like life post-realization. That is what some might call it. Yet as the creator in my own creation, I realize back in 2011 as my father sat in a coma, taking his last breaths on physical Earth, as I was in an experience knocking me to my knees, I was designing the life of freedom I enjoy now.
Empty. The two points meet as time is like a string I can bend and touch together, to make it a circle, or to overlap two linear time points folding into one another. The bending of time and space as it moves within my inimitable consciousness.
Six months ago, I packed my belongings once again, stored them in a twelve-foot by fifteen-foot metal box in San Diego, California for later, and experienced life in its home-free state of being. No home. I had but one suitcase with a small set of clothing, a jacked borrowed. And, while I was not aware at the human level of experience just yet, what I was creating was the sensation of finding the spaciousness of home within me.
As I allowed this spacious home to form inside me, counter-intuitive to the human awareness, I located the spots that felt full. My partner of one and a half years. The consciousness-related group represented by a crimson color I did not relate to much anymore. Both these things kept me from feeling empty.
Yet, in my new state of sovereignty, life was no longer about filling myself up with external energy or streams of consciousness not uniquely mine. More so, life was about seeing how empty I could go, creating home within me, and allowing as much real estate to become available, creating as much space within the infinite void of Self for the New life I designed outside of time and space—outside of gravity—to come into form.
It felt like a twist and turn to the human, there were a couple of houses set thousands of miles apart. One fell through; the other didn’t. To the human, the physical home I moved into last night felt second choice last week. Yet, yesterday when I cut open the moving boxes, there it was again. The sense of motion with no movement, which allowed the two or more linear time points to meet.
The woman on her knees in the hospital praying for death met the woman—healthy, strong, happy, and deliciously empty—and we were never not the designer of our lives combined. The awareness rolls backwards once again, and I shimmy down a Hollywood premiere red carpet into the life I created.
It had only been six months since I last saw what I had packed in the boxes, but I was another person. Another iteration of Self, more Me this time, was unpacking the boxes of a ghost of a previous lifetime. The ghost was the woman who lived in California right after she experienced realization.
Who was this new woman who was standing over the box examining its contents, seemingly unconnected to the woman who had packed it so tightly full six months ago?
Well, she was me—Self, embodied. All of me in my physical vessel—a formless form. It was in this moment, as the creator standing in her creation, surrounded by moving boxes, I realized in deep feeling, not in thought or concept, the shift that occurs from realization, or the initial Return to Self, into the Embodiment of Self.
And in finding myself there, I realize in letting go of these last things, unraveling these last strings tying me to something from outside myself, once again I created the space for myself to return. I created the space needed to allow my creation to bloom in physical form as well as outside of time and space.
I noticed the two were no different now. In gravity, outside of gravity, they matched. They were one and the same. Just as the lines from internal and external had ceased to exist in realization, so too did the lines between linear time and physical space and no time and space in embodiment. Standing in the spaciousness of Self, I also stood in the spaciousness of the beach house I moved into last night.
In this experience that wowed the senses, I saw how I perpetually create more room in my life, how I empty it—as empty as I can go—to allow the interior designer of my life enough space to paint new on the canvas of physical reality. A physical reality no different than my etheric world 'out there'.
As my humanity was woven into the tapestry of Self, my physical human life was woven into the tapestry of my experiences Embodied. A state of no separation within my being-ness, created a state of no separation within the realities in which I create.
I saw how I, by shifting my vessel of Self into reverse, backed in, and turned the corner of awareness to arrive at this gorgeous moment of being the creator in her creation as I unpacked moving boxes in my new home.
Requiring no effort or energetic expenditure, the experience occurred in a twenty-degree right turn in perception, or awareness, as a new iteration or layer of my consciousness rolled in, or I expanded out to meet it, or both.
In the face of Embodiment, or Creation Embodied, I find self-realization is now the tip of the iceberg, instead of being the whole iceberg. What lies ahead is another ocean of awareness. And, it is vastly incredible.”
The Year, the Era, of the Magus is upon us. ~ Koot Hoomi
In the years following this chapter, ancient integrations have taken place.
Me patterns created from crossing the Wall of Fire throughout thousands upon thousands of lifetimes in ancient civilization including but not limited to Atlantis have come home to allow me to get to the point of nothing more but static on the television screen.
Another depth of surrender. Another ounce of further.
Who knew my aspirations were so high? (wink)
Enough for today, I know you can all sense the pathways being woven within your own voided self and in the cosmos of a new era.
Today is truly your day. The day of the God, also. Nothing else matters, well, not even that.
In Honor of YOU, beyond the me pattern --
Sar’h and Koot Hoomi
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Lauren Hutton (Sarah) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond.She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and shares her work here.