Sometimes I really feel for my dog who showed up to serve me through all of "this".
Often times, he's living his dog life (a posh one, I add). He plays, gets yummy food, a million toys, and he sleeps on the ground at night (the cool tile floor). I like this because his life is free of worry and he can just be a dog.
Then, when I have sweeping dissolutions of my biological body, he turns into something else. He can feel it happening. A different energy enters his body and his eyes change.
I often wake up and he is either standing over me, staring into the dark (protection ready) or he is sleeping pressed up against me with his chin firmly planted on my chest, or even laying heavily on my legs to hold me on Earth.
He knows I am not going to leave him in a human way, but I can see the panic if I am really expanded or in a 'Euphoria pocket' that I will cease to have a physical form.
When I was in the aspect integration phase of realization, he got fatty tumors - They have all dissolved now - but I am sure that was not fun.
When I was little I so wanted a luck dragon - like Falkor in 'The Never-ending Story' - Ollie is my luck dragon. He showed up just before my dad got sick and died, I got a divorce and my career identity went into the voided Self.
I want to tell him there is nothing to protect, but perhaps the wise Professor knows something I don't when he takes his fifty pounds of strength to hold down my legs at night.
I almost left the physical body on 'accident' years back. It was in Kuta, Bali in September 2017, a month before my realization permanently permeated. It felt like I went into a dream but later I realized my soul had left my body in a dirty homestead in Indonesia. Did we really need it anymore? So heavy.
(Leaving before your time is not something to fear, the knowingness always kicks in... I know this now)
Ollie wasn't with me, but another woman - she said her name was Hilde -was in the corridors of the 'ascended masters club' and she looked at me and said, "It's time to go back now."
I felt as if I had been in this time and space outside of time and space for a thousand years and a split second.
I had left my dog with a madly integrating being out of desperation and really knowing I needed to get to Asia, and when I arrived home to Colorado, he had gained ten pounds and had some sort of stomach bug.
When I came home and I looked in his eyes there was no soul in his body. He had been traveling with me the whole time.
An indent would appear on the foot of the bed - in Vietnam, in Laos, in India.
I petted him and held him and fed him his favorite foods. It took several months, but his soul came back into his body. The 10 pounds gained came off, and he stopped getting so sick after some months.
Beings like us tend to get really sick when we don't connect within our bodies - vehicles of consciousness - and Ollie is no different.
When we woke up one day - after realization set up shop full-time somewhere in New Mexico - on the rugged shores of the dramatic cliff of the California coast, I took Ollie's body for a walk at sunset.
As the sun melted like butter into the mighty Pacific, I threw a tennis ball. He chased it and I saw angelic Ollie return to his physical form. I kept his body somewhat healthy for his impending return.
I hope he begins to understand, that I no longer need protection, but I'll take these over-ambitious snuggles any day.
Some will say your pet is just your energy in another form. I find that to be true AND when the look changes in his eyes, I see another sovereign being who has created this act of consciousness to support all I give - I love to give. I don't feel a need to receive anymore - but Ollie ignores this in the most selfless of acts - because what more is there when the identities lie down in the grass of the soul, taking their final breaths.
Lauren Hutton (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond.