DECISION VS. CHOICE: A DEEPLY PERSONAL STORY OF CHOOSING EMBODIED ENLIGHTENMENT
This is an example of what's going on in the Patreon page, Surfing the Waves of Realization:
DECISION VS CHOICE
What is the real difference between decision and choice?
According the dictionary, a decision is the action or process of deciding between something or resolving a problem.
A choice is a range of possibilities and potentials from which one or more may be selected.
For me decisions are made in attempt to solve a problem.
Decisions happen in the matrix, on the surface of the water, or from a limited menu of finite energetic options in attempt to alleviate the perception of suffering (problems).
In other words, decisions are made from a space of lack, of not having something, and having to bring in outside energy to fix something or bring in something that the subject lacks. For example, money, health, love from another, security…
Choices, on the other hand, come from choosing one or more paths from an infinite energy source – flowing from within Self.
Choices do not come from not having enough of something, but rather having access to so many potentials and possibilities that one must choose where to direct the energy that is sourced from within.
Choices are made from a space of already having enough. Abundance.
Choices are made from a space of stillness and knowingness.
Choices embrace the unknown because the ‘I’ making choices knows deeply the unknown is an expression of Self, not an outside force or energy.
People who make choices over decisions know there can be so mistake because the energetic ocean of potential, possibilities, and probabilities they are choosing from - is all their own energy, never another’s, never from an outside force. Thus, they know there is nothing to fear.
Beings who make choices over decisions have a deep trust of Self, and the unknown or unexplored parts of their consciousness.
It is in this trust that they allow energy to serve them and the choice they made in a space of unwavering freedom. The freedom to Exist, untethered.
A SHORT STORY ABOUT CHOOSING AND ALLOWING
One of the patrons, on the last call, brought up something that struck a chord with me and reminded me of one of the greatest choices I ever made.
He so wisely said he was not in a hurry anymore in allowing this full embodiment. He said he’d rather do it in Joy than fast.
In him saying this, a memory surfaced for me, one I had filed away as too personal to share – until now.
Perhaps some of you were around in September 2018 and can recollect this. Yet, I haven’t written the personal details of it yet – until now.
In September of 2018, I was living in Encinitas, California and got that familiar nudge to move. On a road trip, I saw house up in the cliffs of the Oregon coast that sang to my soul.
I went through the process of placing an offer on the house, which was accepted, and I was moving through the inspection process when it hit me. Hard.
The house was absolutely stunning. Designed by an artist, it hovered over a cliff overlooking the Pacific in an extremely remote part of the state.
Yet, it’s deeper meaning was what the house represented: the choice to go all in – fully diving into the unknown to allow embodied enlightenment completely.
It represented the Point of No Return. The choice to dive into the perceived chaos of the unknown. Come what may.
It was not going to be gentle, but it was going to be quick, and Morya was there to point out, this choice would allow me to get into what I was here to share (teach) in a more succinct manner. He did not push, but offered perspective.
I have to take this story back a little…
You see after realization in November 2017, I was kind of chugging along when I came to realize whatever I could not handle clearing before realization was now coming up to be cleared before embodiment.
For example, not having remembered anything that happened at the fall of Atlantis, I now remembered it in great detail. All of it.
The implants started to come out. And with each implant thrown into the sea, my mind went haywire in its creation of new patterns and pathways in the central nervous system.
These Atlantean implants kept the processing center in the brain running the same patterns and programming for thousands upon thousands of years.
Once removed, the flow of energy + consciousness in my physical vessel had to develop completely new patterns and methods of operation for keeping the central nervous system functioning – in an entirely new way.
My human no reference point for this. I was running completely on blind trust. And hand hold by the masters who stopped by for support but without answers.
The shadow of the unknown began to follow me around. I began to realize looking at the unknown that I was That – this dark shadow looming was actually me.
And then, it started the somewhat crazy process of flowing into my spine. I will cover this in the next course. It is too much for this article.
Yet, at the time I did not know what was happening as the shadow of the unknown moved into my spine. All I did know was that there was not a single thing to read about it anywhere – and one day I would be able to be the person to write it down so others knew what was happening to them.
The things that came up did so in radical intensity and included: former misuse of power, hierarchy and its relation to suppression of Truth (more Atlantis), energetic abuse that was rampant in Atlantis, control and its best friend suffering. Oh man, did I go through the gauntlet on these themes.
Human belief systems or boulders where incinerated leading up to realization, and now, after realization any belief system around energy and how it works was being incinerated before embodying that realization.
I worked my way backward from the Fall of Atlantis all the way to before I crossed the Wall of Fire, leaving Oneness. And in doing so, I unwound every single story about energy I have ever fucking told myself in all of my existence.
It was an internally insane time and there were no the materials from the Crimson Circle to support me. I felt deserted because the materials which had supported me so well, failed me now. Then St. G showed up when I finally quit playing victim and asked for help instead.
Masters showed up to hold my hand, yet some days I felt utterly and totally alone – to the point of not knowing if I could handle staying in physical form anymore. Tears flowed like the Oregon rain. Never-ending.
That is why I am so pushy when it comes to working through the themes posted in the last month. It is absolutely essential for your health and happiness and staying here embodied that these be addressed.
Sure, it will happen naturally, but like the patron on the call mentioned, don’t you want it to be joyful?
Do your homework.
In other words, the first year after realization was not a cake walk. I appeared a total wreck, and yet I also knew exactly with precision what was going on – something I am going to cover in great detail in the book I am currently writing.
So back to the story, buying the house and moving to the forest overlooking the Pacific represented a ‘ripping off the bandage’ move.
It was going to be like taking my finger out of the dam of my own consciousness, and, instead of letting it trickle in – and the unwavering clarity it provides coming with it, it was going to be a full on wash out of everything I thought to be true about my relationship with energy.
I understood moving into this house was going to be ‘painful’ at first – what was left of my human persona frying in the frying pan for however long it took to re-arrange my relationship with energy. It would not be pleasant but it would be the fastest option.
It would be the direct line to finally getting to what I came here to teach, a living of the words Morya spoke to me when he came to me in October 2013 and said, “You are very wise and you are on Earth to teach.”
If I bought this house, I was going to leave everything behind. My family, my partner, all my friends, and really begin my work here as I am doing now.
At first, I approached it like a decision. I weighed the logic around the house as an investment. I weighed the option of being terrified and alone. All coming from a space of lack.
Then I realized what I was actually choosing between was fast and furious or joyful and gentle. In a space of stillness, I chose gentle. That was not a pathway that was created yet. I was going to have to dig that tunnel myself. No one can do it for you. I was going to have to put Morya on hold, and I knew he would respect that.
Sure, embodiment would take a whole year longer to set in, but it was a steady stream of the restructuring of my relationship with energy and a gentle glide into embodiment, which occurred on the womb-like shores of the lapping ocean waves of the island of Kauai, the space where I first came into physical form.
Embodying The Original.
Once I told my agent in Oregon, I no longer wanted the house. I got in my car – homeless – and made the drive back to Texas, for I had nowhere else to go. I was homeless for six months, and I let myself fall apart completely, before choosing from a place of stillness the island home where I now live.
Looking back, part of me sees the beauty of that Oregon house pathway. It was a pathway created for me to choose. It was laid out for me. The beings I work with dug the trench for me, as a gift.
If I had done so, I would be about a year or so ahead of what I am teaching here now. But that likely would be too far from reference point for many.
Things were not chugging along in groups as fast as the Ascended Masters predicted, yet I feel that is about to change in the new year. I feel deep in the caverns of my knowingness.
Some of the pot holes right now are people are still in the loop of self-love in which love is directed to a subject of little self, instead of the I AM love, which is simply being it with no separation. The self-love will take you there, but it is not the place to stop, it allowing the human and the soul or master to merge as One and get on the I AM highway.
Another is the wisdom of the soul or master has still yet to integrate with the human energetic form. All is well -- it’s just that instead of a stepping stone, people seem to be setting up camp there when it was only meant to be a bridge.The soul is a bridge to the Self, not the whole Self – it is simply a facet. Just like the human.
But instead, I got out my shovel – staying in the VOID – and created a new pathway for myself to ease into this embodiment.
For many months, Morya gave me the space I asked for once again until one day he showed up again, asking me for the umpteenth time, “Are you finally ready?”
I joke about his directness but this always was a most gentle question with total respect for the answer whatever it was.
I had turned him down so many times before – it actually makes me cry. He is so loving and so patient with me. But this time I said “Yes.”
And here we are – the destination the same – whether I picked the Oregon all in scenario or the Texas gentle surf to shore.
All paths lead to the same destination.
All is always well in my creation.
THE TAKE AWAY
This article is not about going fast or slow or creating a debate about it. That’s beside the point of consciousness.
This article is about feeling into whether you are operating from lack or abundance of Spirit. It is about really tapping into choice versus making yet another human decision.
There’s no such thing as logic. It’s all about your relationship with energy and allowing it to respond to a conscious choice that comes from a space of the most magical and creative of words:
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD, ALSO
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Lauren Hutton (Sarah) writes adventure novels and short stories about embodying the christ consciousness on Earth.