I AM * SAR'H
  • THE YEAR OF THE MAGUS
  • MONTHLY SATSANGS
  • BOOKS
  • EXPERIENTIAL CLOUD CLASSES
  • Intimate Gatherings with KH
  • ENERGY EXCHANGE
  • ARTICLES
  • BIO
  • CONTACT
  • THE FOUR IMPERATIVES (P)
  • PATRON RESOURCE PAGE (P)
  • KOOT HOOMI'S GARDEN (P)

relationships in realization

7/20/2019

12 Comments

 
Shaumbra Relationships... Here we go...
 
I thought I was going to have the weekend off. That’s funny. When you turn from a ‘me’ self – the I am This – into a vessel for the Infinite Mystery of the I Am That, there’s really no separation between ‘work’ and personal life. All is what it is, no separation. 
 
Jokingly, I am praying to the GodSelf for what I am about to share with you. The ‘me’ image that so desires a relationship in firm commitment and definition is likely going to feel the need to defend itself AND I will add it is not the real You. Maybe consider sitting on the rock of belief boulders instead of throwing them my way. Ha! All said in light-hearted fun. 
 
Before we go into what relationships look like in a realized state of being, there’s something that must be understood. If you have taken the Art of Allowing course by Morya and myself or simply come to understand this on your own, it will be nothing new, but it must be stated. 
 
I am going to write it in first person from personal experience in hopes that you all are less offended or feeling a need to protect, defend or add strength to a conviction that is from the ‘me’ image. 
 
When I first had my awakening and Morya showed up and found Crimson Circle (in that order), I chose to have the self-realization experience. 
 
The human did what it does. In order to experience anything, the human creates an identity, a façade, an aspect to experience realization. 
 
The thing is that worked in the past. When I wanted to be a lobbyist, I created a façade (external projection image) of myself to experience influencing government. Success was defined on my stage performance on a collective belief system movie screen. 
 
When I wanted to experience human love, I created an image of myself as a wife. Defined by the external environment of husband. The script of husband and wife was written based on belief systems. 
 
When I went through my awakening I gave up the mass consciousness roles for my so-called new, shiny awakened role, I created yet another aspect or image of myself that was consciously awake. This image was so shiny and also a fierce guard of her newfound spiritual belief systems. 
 
Further, I created an image of myself choosing realization. Let that sink in. A separated image projection of Self choosing realization…
 
That worked for a while. This holographic projection of Lauren choosing realization allowed me to explore conscious concepts put forth in my mind with a solid story.  It felt safe. To explore it all in the old ways of mind and stories. I explored realization through an identity, and it was okay because it got me where I was going. It served and then it didn’t. 
 
One day I realized I was living a cartoon character version of realization and all the people around me where in the same cartoon – a play on a stage about realization. Different stage, different script written by a new set of belief systems labeled conscious. 
 
This deep knowingness of the I AM’s gnostic, ineffable quality started to trickle in and it whispered to me without words, “There is so more to realization than the enlightenment plays you are acting in.” Perhaps, Morya stepped in a little bit here with his piercing eyes of Clarity. 
 
That’s when the sacred art of surrender began. I was surrendering to the void of the GodSelf, the I am God, too, the infinite mystery of the I AM THAT I AM. That is what I allowed. Not the play. Not the image I manifested to experience realization. Real me. The part a that never walked through the Wall of Fire. That was never not whole. 
 
After realization, I understood deeply the transition of the I AM THIS human choosing realization to knowing deeply I AM THAT I AM. 
 
In this new space, there was no longer a need for identity and ego or to be an actor on the stage with others choosing their realization with the holographic projection of self or me. 
 
As a result, I had to learn how to live and love all over again. No Self gave way to New Life – USARA – something that cannot be reached until you hit the zero point of identity – a place that exists beyond mind and beyond ego. 
 
So much of the discussion in the crimson play is about to be or not to be in a relationship, to be or not to be working a job or my favorite – what to eat and what not to eat… That’s part of the story and it’s beautiful – until you go beyond story and beyond soul even…
 
The funniest (funny strange not funny jajajaja) thing ever is these questions and copious debates are about how to manage the projected image of little me choosing realization. 
 
When you take identity out of the equation, which needs to define itself through outside circumstances, it no longer matters whether you work, or don’t, have a partner, or don’t. You simply do not define yourself that way. 
 
Some might say I am opposed to relationships. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I have a multitude of relationships and I love hard yet fluidly.  
 
I love you all and I love Shaumbra so much tears pour from eyes as I type this. You don’t even know how much I love you all. How much honor and respect I have for you and what you are choosing for yourself and for other beings choosing consciousness over automation for eons to come. 
 
Further, I actually feel you don’t have to leave your parents, spouse, and I really feel if you have small children you have a soul contract to provide them a safe space to be until they become adults. So, sue me! You can allow realization and be a parent and fulfill your soul contract there. Not a hard and fast belief boulder, but an inclination I feel to honor the choices you made coming into physical form. Back to the point…
 
What occurs in realization is you stop defining yourself by these things. You stop defining yourself in relation to external environments and people. By your relationships. 
 
You realize the truest part of you can retain its peace, joy, and most of all sovereignty within all relationships by being you and allowing the natural fluidity and impermanent nature of everything. 
 
Without identity projections (aspects), nothing needs to be defined, protected and use of force and strength becomes obsolete. Even the wisdomizing is no longer needed – there’s nothing left for the Master to compost because you stop crapping limited human experiences. Ha… 
 
Many Shaumbra want to work at conscious romantic relationships. It’s not the relationship part that stirs response from me. 
 
It is the question: who is trying to figure out the concept of a conscious relationship and define it? Ninety-nine percent of the time it is the image projection of ‘me’ identity choosing realization. That’s not really who you are. You are so much more than a me identity. 
 
Shaumbra are still doing surveillance on their allowing realization – trying to manage it all from the human perspective – they want everything in place before they allow it … control… If you try to manage energy from the human limits, energy will manage you. 
 
The mind story goes like this… I need to have my money situation figured out before allowing realization, my body needs to be healthy, I have to have this whole conscious relationship thing figured out… before I really allow…
 
Realization – the Final Let Go – happens when you understand nothing will ever be figured out by the human’s limited view. 
 
Like Mary Magdalene says in our upcoming class ‘Tales of an Aspect Integrated’… "You know you've finally moved on from your ever-repeating stories when they no longer require a finite conclusion. Writing a conclusion to the story actually keeps it in its never-ending loop." 
 
Many Shaumbra are trying to write the story of a conscious romantic relationship with a firm conclusion prior to allowing realization. It keeps you in the local linear loop.

I will say if any group of beings can create the truly sovereign relationship, it is Shaumbra, yet it won't happen until both beings step into full mastery - for lack of a better term. 
 
Once you step into realization –after a steadying re-adjustment grace period –all of life falls into place. It unfolds in the moment, and the human ‘me’ is not so involved anymore –if at all. 
 
Also, I want to say I think it is a beautiful thing for two people choosing realization to walk with one another for a while ‘toward’ their realization. Yet, there’s a deep compassion involved, especially when one steps into their realized state of being before another. 
 
We are not in a Twin Flame fairy tale, in which two people reach enlightenment together at the exact same moment. You are too sovereign for that. 
 
The partner who is still in seeking realization identity will have a variety of responses. Disbelief, jealousy, and perhaps, in some cases, deep honor without question for their partner. 
 
Is this level of compassion possible? Sure. It is a potential but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it is a probability. 
 
When you experience realization, your perception of reality permanently changes. It will be vastly different from another in a pre-realization projection. It’s easier to have friends in this space than it would be to have a daily life romantic partner. 
 
It’s a really weird time – reversing into realizing you are already realized. 
 
It’s a deeply sensual and sensitive time in the days and months following realization.
 
You are hearing the symphony of your Soul playing within the caverns of your being-ness. It is too sweet to be interrupted.  
 
And then someone wants to know what you are going to make for dinner… 
 
It’s like “what?! Shhh.. I can hear the symphony of my soul for the very first time."
 
One person in the no self – another in the self that is playing on the pre-realized stage. Can it be done? SURE. It will be a question of whether you want to or not. 
 
For me it was a question of can I do this and be ME and move into the state of further into embodiment or the free energy body (I’m not there yet - 43%...). The answer was no. 
 
I chose allowing the state of further into embodiment over trying to stay put for another person. That person did not even want me to stay put. But there I was holding myself in a state for them. That’s my own doing. Something I own and hold responsibility for.

The choice is personal. Love is impersonal. 
 
I see it is almost easier for a being choosing and actually allowing realization to be with a human being who does not seek, yet who is simply there to support. 
 
My personal opinion: Allowing realization is easiest alone. For you are the only one who can cross the Threshold. No ascended master, no partner, no spirit guide is going to be able to walk with you through the gateless gate. You get to choose, though, what works for you. 
 
The feeling is so sublime in realization, in really being able to answer the question “Who am I?” for the very first time while in physical form.

You will not want to be interrupted. A compassionate partner will allow you this space. A compassionate partner will not hold themselves back moving from realization to embodiment, waiting for a partner to ‘catch up.’ You flow with the divine timing, or you get sick resisting…
 
Further, something to own for myself, if you allow realization and your partner has not, you have to leave them be, not trying to change or alter their space in any way. I found I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have it in me. 
 
This next part is just to answer a few things people ask me. Nothing is actually personal anymore so I am happy to answer. 
 
In my current state – almost two years in Post-realization state of being – or simply being ME, a vessel of the I AM THAT – I cannot imagine going on a date. I’d feel like I was an impersonator of myself. 
 
People on dates want to know your identity, what you do. In this case, I’d be playing, acting out, a version of Lauren who no longer exists. Lauren dissolved into the all that is a while ago. It feels like pulling out a ghost of a past life. 
 
I recently tried to do this back in April when meeting with friends, I impersonated old Lauren all weekend. I was utterly exhausted by the time I go home. 
 
I cannot imagine having sex like a human – like rabbits – it is highly unappealing to me. I try on the idea from time to time because I used to love sex. But, it would be imposter Lauren in the bedroom and nothing would feel more twisted for me. 

I don't 'think' I have enough biology left to produce a child, and I have moved into the sensuality of allowing that biological desire to dissolve. 
 
I will say in my fluidity and loving love with such depths that impersonal allows...

When I need touch, someone shows up to hold my hand and hold me. This is marvelous. 
 
When I need to play, another person shows up to surf next to me. 
 
The connection I receive from teaching along with Morya is the most satisfying love making I have ever experienced. My books are my children. 
 
Most days I am sitting in the ascended masters club, as you call it – we don’t – and my biological body lies dormant on the couch with my sweet, sweet dog sitting on my feet, assuring I don’t leave to soon. 
 
I meet my friends there. They are me AND they are sovereign beings. There’s no mirror anymore. 
 
It allows me to be able to stay here longer and to sovereignly support Shaumbra who give me permission to do so. 
 
All this to say, instead of spending so much time looking at what a conscious relationship is and trying to define it, allow your realization. In this space, you will truly know what love is, and it will bring the most sensual and joyful tears to your eyes. 
 
I love you all. You cannot define it or give it parameters. 
 
To leave you with a state of further… 
 
In embodiment, everyone on your BON screen is you. There’s not really such a thing as other people or other people’s energy. BON screens never match. They are sovereign. 
 
Another note: If you are energy, your relationship with energy is the relationship with yourself. Not your relationship with people or concepts like abundance viewed as outside of yourself. The lines between internal and external dissolve. 
 
“There’s so much more!” 
 
I am Sar’h – an ascended master who returned to Earth to support a group of beings called Shaumbra, choosing realization while staying in physical form, in support of those choosing consciousness over automation for eons to come. There is nothing more sovereign than service. At least, not that I know of – yet. 
12 Comments
Leanne Edwards
7/20/2019 11:10:11 am

I experience many things on my way to realisation, confusion, anger etc, but I am never lonely and I could never be in a romantic human relationship. Your beautiful writing makes perfect sense to me Lauren.🌷🌻🌹

Reply
Sar'h
7/20/2019 11:15:06 am

Thank you, Leanne. The looniness dissolves with the identity. Truly fulfilling,

Reply
Sar'h
7/20/2019 02:14:36 pm

LONELINESS...

Erik Istrup
7/20/2019 10:58:53 pm

Thank you Sar'h!

I did not read this post because of the 'relationship part', because it makes no sense to me. You put words to it just fine, thank you.

The human (mind/ego) may need images and plays to move along in small steps, not blocking because of fears. It surely must not blame itself for its fear (really of dying) in letting go of control.

Blessings!

Reply
Dace
7/21/2019 06:32:00 am

"I see it is almost easier for a being choosing and actually allowing realization to be with a human being who does not seek, yet who is simply there to support"...
I have similar feeling about my relationship which started 1year ago... After many many years of living alone I have chosen to be with partner now... And he is not interested in realization and in spirituality but I feel he is here to support me in my way to realisation.. Yet sometime I have this box and limiting feeling near him, alone I would act different in some moments... and It is me who makes limits, he is really just present and not demanding anything...
Still sending into this relationship thing...

Reply
Sar'h
7/21/2019 11:22:43 am

An ever-evolving version of what serves NOW... Thank you for sharing!

Reply
Pablo Vega
7/21/2019 10:53:10 am

I thank you immensely for this article. I feel this might be the final obstacle on my path and that's probably why it's such a big issue for me at this time. The way you explain this topic brings plenty of clarity and validation to my feelings.
HUGE THANKS!

Reply
SAR'H
7/21/2019 11:22:03 am

Wow! Thank you for sharing, so glad it brought the clarity intended. Nice to see you here!

Reply
Klazina
7/22/2019 06:24:13 am

Thank you so much Sar'h. Your writing radiates such a compassion that is deeply felt and touching, with tears running down my face. I feel the depth and truth even that it is not experienced yet, I know it can be! Deep gratitude for your support, and being a guiding example.

Reply
Sar’h
7/22/2019 03:11:46 pm

Thank you for sharing!

Reply
Allie
7/23/2019 10:10:28 am

Grateful for these words of wisdom - thank you SAR'H! Where can I read more about "BON screen" ?

Reply
Sar'h
7/24/2019 09:13:53 am

Hey Allie, this is not a term I can take credit for. It is from the Crimson Circle and is defined as

Bon - The holographic ‘fabric’ of TimeSpace upon which reality is projected. It is prevalent everywhere consciousness is. Plasma comes from Bon, and from plasma come ions, neutrons, etc. Bon is the stage or screen where consciousness can experience itself.

Check out the website if you would like here: https://www.crimsoncircle.com/More/Glossary

Thank you for your kind words.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Lauren Hutton (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the self-realization experience and beyond.
    ​She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and shares her work joyously on this page.

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    September 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018

    Categories

    All
    2020
    Allowing
    Book Updates
    Call Information
    Creation
    Dreams
    Embodied Creation
    Embodiment
    Energy Management
    Freedom From Identity
    Fully Integrated Being
    Garden Of New Life
    I AM Embodiment
    Keahak Notes
    Kuthumi Land
    Merlin
    Morya
    New Earth
    New Energy
    New Life
    Newsletter
    Nova Vita
    Over There And Here And Now
    Post Realization
    Post-realization
    Realization
    Realization Is The Beginning Not The End
    Satsang
    SATSANG VIDEO
    Staying Embodied
    The 40 Day Dream
    The Gap
    Transmigration Of Awareness
    USARA
    Video
    Void Paralysis

    RSS Feed


  • THE YEAR OF THE MAGUS
  • MONTHLY SATSANGS
  • BOOKS
  • EXPERIENTIAL CLOUD CLASSES
  • Intimate Gatherings with KH
  • ENERGY EXCHANGE
  • ARTICLES
  • BIO
  • CONTACT
  • THE FOUR IMPERATIVES (P)
  • PATRON RESOURCE PAGE (P)
  • KOOT HOOMI'S GARDEN (P)